Editorial- Yes the truth does hurt?

By Rob Baer | September 13th, 2011 | Categories: Editorial, Warhammer 40k

Hey guys! Instead of writing actual content that would be fun and useful to the majority of readers I just wanted to get on here and write a bit of satire about some things swirling around the interwebs yesterday.

Remember kids this is only satire, and I don’t even believe half of it (except the part about hurricanes and earthquakes, that’s for real, real, not play, play).

Q: How do you feel about the statement that Stelek is the best player on the planet?
A: Probably true. Heck probably the universe, the way people copy his armies and talk about Stelek’s lists verbatim he’s gotta be that good.  I think some corporate sponsors should pick him up and suit him in a race car driver outfit so we associate his awesomeness with their products!

Notice the big number “1” there on Tony Stewart? It’s cause hes undefeated too.

Q: Has Stelek even lost a game?
A: No I believe for the last 15 years he has gone undefeated, as a matter of fact he can not be beaten by any man.  I know he has beaten both Marc Parker, and Mike Brant at the same time while playing 1000 points down. He’s that good!

Q: Why didn’t you play Stelek recently?
A: Well as I too am undefeated for the past 15 years, it makes it tough for both of us to stay undefeated if we play.  I made a risky judgement call and felt packing up my booth, and starting the drive home though whatever hurricane damage there may be early was a good idea.  I mean a hurricane and an earthquake in the same week? Surely a volcano was about the erupt, or riots or even an alien invasion would commence, so it seemed practical to get back home.

Q: So you quit a tournament? Surely you wont be even invited back, GASP!
A: Actually I conceded a game to an opponent, and we both handed our sheets directly to the tournament organizer who okay’ed them, and congratulated Stelek on yet another win. Gotta win ’em all!

Q: Would you consider yourself a “classy guy”
A: Not at all. In fact only one Sunday out of each month am I ever a “classy guy”.  The rest of the time I am a fierce competitor, blogging to the word about my army lists and how I am the best at the Warhammers, and how to win you must copy exactly what I do.

I am also the best painter in the world, my primered/ washed unbased minis have been features in magazine and museums the world over.

Q:Should you be banned from tournaments for life.
A: Yes actually I think I should, that’s the only way to give everyone else a chance to win, peroid.

Not only that but I should be banned from every forum (especially but not limited to Dakka, and BoLS),  so that the only place I have left to post anything about everything is my own blog.

Q: When you are bored and want your dose of daily gamer drama where do you go?
A: Oh hands down Blood of Kittens. Tastey has all the best stuff. I have even seen him partially naked as well. DELISH!

Q: Thank you this has been eye opening. Do you have anything else to say?


That’s all I got. Hope you enjoyed it. -MBG

About the Author: Rob Baer

Virginia Restless, Miniature Painter & Cat Dad. I blame LEGOs. There was something about those little-colored blocks that started it all... Twitter @catdaddymbg
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