What happens when the Long War team brings a fluffy Chaos list to Adoption Team Tournament? Well, they all get drunk that’s for sure.
Last game of the event and our boys Rob, Kenny, Juice, and Mike go up against a Clan Raaukan & Raven Wing lists. While this was a team tournament I’m not good enough to do two battle reports at the same time; sorry.
Regardless, this match up features Khorne and Nurgle, Piloted by Rob and Kenny, up against Raven Wing and Clan Raaukan, driven by John and Eric of Team #AstartesLivesMatter. The Bikes roared and the Land Raiders steam rolled but only one team could claim victory. Would Kenny and Rob seize victory with their under the radar Choas list?
Pre-game rolls: Typhus, being the Psychic pimp that he is knows all but one of the spells on his table; for this game it was Plague Wind. Kharn came with no spells, because f*&# magic, but brings hatred stock. Meanwhile the Raven Wing army rolled up “Divide to Conquer” granting them a -1 to reserve meaning the Hell Turkey’s would have a rough time making it to the battle. Keeping it fluffy Clan Raukann has no psyker’s.
Rob and Kenny set up their Land Raiders sideways, pre-measuring to ensure proper distance from the bikes, to avoid first round face melting.
“We gotta be able to out people in the center,” Kenny said as he placed the Imperial Bunker on the far right with the escape hatch in the middle.
“Who’s in which Lamd Raider?” John asked.
“Khorne people with the Khorne people and Nurgle People with the Nurgle people,” Kenny responded as he pointed to each of the God’s pimped out Land Raiders (painted by Man Beard Painting)
John and Eric begin setting up.
“Put him [the Knight Titan] in the terrain so I don’t have to go around you in terrain,” John tells Eric.
Initially, Eric sets up his Knight Titan on the top of the table, opposing the bulk of the Choas Army, but Kenny whispers Chaos and Eric switches to the bottom. Noticing the Imperial Bunker on the bottom of the board Eric and John decide the only way they can rip that thing open is to put the Knight Titan on it.
Eric opts to put the Knight on the opposite end.
“I just want you guys to know his thing is worth 35 points. But the 20 guys inside are super expensive because of the Mark of khrone” Kenny said channeling his Chaos powers of suggestion. John and Eric stay the coarse and plan to rip open the Imperial Bunker like a Tin Can and nosh on the sardines inside. After the pre-game handshake, a gift of Long War shot glasses Kenny says,
“We’re going to let you guys go first. You get your shot glass and you get your first turn.”
Pro-Tip: If Kenny gives you turn one, chances are, there’s a reason.
“I’m happy I subscribe to your channel,” Eric says with a smile.
“When I blow that up your Knight Titan with my cultists you might feel otherwise”
Fact: That’s not possible.
The Ravenwing roll through some forrest but smash tree’s instead of running into them, #Endor #Storm Troopers, and pass all their Dangerous Terrian tests.
The commanders call in their Orbital Strikes, focusing both on the Nurgle Land Raider. But Papa Nurgle gives no F*@&’s and they both scatter in opposite directions + 7 and scatter +8, missing anything in the Chaos Army. The Ravenwing fire two volley’s of Grav into the Bunker and strips it of two hull points.
“Do you want to shoot some bolters at some cultists?” Kenny asks.
“I sure do,” Eric responds eager to blow some models to bits.
Cultists? What Cultists, we shot most of them. Mop up should be easy; right?
Bolters roar into Rob’s Cultists and K.O four of them. A second squad of bikes take two more cultists down.
“Command squad is just going to sit here and the commander is just going to wiggle his tentacles,” John says with a smile.
“Do you want them to come here and get us or do you want us to go out and bring them down?” Kenny asks Rob. They opt to build a Land Raider wall on the Cultists flank to prevent the Command Squad from destroying the cultists. Land Raider wall engaged
Protecting the Flank with Land Raiders
“Do you want them to waste a turn? I’m down to get out back here,” Kenny says contemplating moving the cultists out of the Imperial Bunker via the escape hatch. They opt to leave them inside.
“Yeah, he has to at least touch the base”
The Land Raiders flat out and entrench themselves between the Command Squad and the cultists. Kenny declares a charge with the Cultists into the Ravenwing Bikers. Overwatch didn’t do much, 1 wound, FNP saved. Kenny needs a 9″ charge, He rolls rolled a 10 but then subtracts 2 due to terrain.
“I had to roll an 11 but it was worth it for the change to pull my guys into the scoring zone.” Kenny says
It’s the top of Round 2 and Kenny whispers his Choas.
Kenny suggests, “You could Grav the bunker and make my guys get out; then you could charge the cultists, a knight would fucking ruin us.”
Eric agrees and his bikes continue to roar out of the forest. He fails a Dangerous Terrain but John rolls his armor save which passes.
“You’re rolling terrible today Eric, just stop,” John jokes.
Eric then looks at how he wants to move his Knight.
Kenny says, “you can turn him sideways and then option select”
Yo, Dawg, turn it this way and your flamer gets more inches on it’s template.
The sideways position gives Eric a few more inches on the Knights supersized flamer template while getting as close to possible to the bunker itself.
The Grav Canons polish off the building but Rob notes that’s it’s not first blood.
“I doesn’t score, it doesn’t move, it doesn’t do anything,” Kenny adds.
Kenny almost opts to go out the escape hatch, which had been placed just a mere inches away from the knight in the middle of the table, but opts to go the opposite direction; the charge being far worse for the unit than the flamer.
“I’m not going to bunch up tho,” Kenny says. “Alright, flame me.”
13 cultists wounded, 10 survive, 10 left.
The command squad decides to stay away from the tank.
“I’m only going to be able to scratch it, all I have is Strength 8,” John says.
The cultists hang strong versus the bolter fire and the bike squad at the top of the board makes into combat.
At the bottom of round 2 Rob starts to move his Land Raider.
“Don’t move the land raider, always look at what you want to do before you move it,” Kenny says as he brings out the contents and of the Land Raider and tries to position them for ideal charge distance.
Fact: The conversions make movement in the Terrain a bit difficult.
Often considering going for the Command Squad Rob and Kenny decide to dump Kharn and Co. into the combat and multi-assault in to grab up the remaining bike squad. The Land Raiders then moves into no mans land to contest the objective. The Land Raider pain train keeps rolling along
A biker gets vaporized by a Land Raider’s Lascanon. Meanwhile, Kenny opts to fire the plasma cannons on his Obliterators. He rolls a Gets Hot! but makes the armor save. The blasts deal four wounds. John assigns a wound to his Tech Maine thinking the 3+ FNP will do the trick but the dice gods are cruel and the Tech Marine eats a Plasma to the face. John then assigns the rest of the wounds to his Storm Shield bike.
Kenny declares an assault and the Dirge caster blocks the overwatch. Rob then declares his multi-assault and Kharn starts chopping up bikes.
“Now Kharn is going to eat sh*4 alive,” John tells Eric.
Kharn axes two bikers from the squad not already in combat. One of the Mutilators transforms his weapons into claws but misses. The other two kill use fists and two more bikers get mushed.
Chaos wins but the Mutilators are slow and purposeful so they can’t catch the escaping Ravenwing.
In the other combat, Typhus, who has to challenge, takes out the Tech Marine, who John offers as a sacrificial lamb. However, that gives first blood.
The bikers strike back with two power fists and an Obliterator takes two wounds. The wounds distribute from a point down the line and thus Typhus has to roll the remaining five. He takes two wounds and absorbs the rest between armor and feel no pain.
End of round 3
The knight presses full court in the corner and tries to wipe out the rest of the cultists. The biker squad, at the bottom, hangs a left and heads towards the scrum in the middle.
Meanwhile, the two single squads of bikers regroup and take shots at Kharn and Company.
The Knights flamer takes down five more cultists and the heavy bolster adds two more; only three remain.
“Why is he so obsessed with a bunker and cultists,” Kenny says jokingly.
“He doesn’t want to die this game! For once” Eric responds.
In the Typhus combat Kenny rolls a 3 for his Scythe and gets a three for total of 7 attacks.
There’s a bit of a rules question when John says, “I was going to roll it will not die”
“It’s still your turn, You can, I was going to remind you of you forgot!” Kenny says.
However, the point is moot as the Commander gets sliced in two by Typhus. For the attacks back Typhus takes another wound and absorbs the other three.
“I’m stubborn and fearless,” Kenny says.
The rest of the fists come smashing in. The squad deals 14 total wounds. The Obliterators eat the fists and die. Typhus dodges 9 wounds and takes 1 wound when Kenny finally rolls a one for the first time in his life.
Matt, Alex, Eric, fellow gamers stop us for half time and donate a ton of beer. These guys where on their on their way to Long Island and couldn’t bring the alcohol with them. (Editors note: I still have your cooler, but Felix drank all your booze thanks!)
Back to the match, Kharn and Co. look like they’re going to bypass the typhus fight and attempt to finish off the two biker squads. The land raider moves into cover pops smoke.
Popping Smoke
Since he won the challenge, Kenny rolls and gets the gift of contagion; -1 strength to the bikers. The Helldrake finally comes in and BBQ’s the entire squad of bikers with a 6+ Fell No Pain.
post consolidation, end of round two, 5 inch
Kharn and Co., after looking like they’d chase down the two bikers opt to assist Typhus but the Storm Shield Powerfist Biker makes 4 invulnerable saves. Then 6 fists go into the squad. 3 hit and wound. Kharn takes 3 wounds. Then the Man Reaper, rolls a 6, for 9 total attacks and inflicts 8 wounds.
Tech Marine, Banner and the Apothecary are reaped. In return the storm shield powerfists remaining in the squad finish off Typhus. The battle continues to rage on.
Top of 4
“Everything that’s left in the army has a 3 up invulnerable so I’m not too worried about the hell drake I want to take out land raider,” Eric says. Having finished off the cultists the knight activates flanking speed and rolls a 10.
Rules question arises as to whether the dice are added or pick the highest. Unable to find the rule quickly the teams decide to split the difference and have the knight move 5 inches.
Fact: Flanking speed is cumulative so the knight should have moved 10. We get it right the next turn.
The Biker squads fire off their Grav cannons and immobilize the Land Raider but only manage to take off only a single hull point after cover saves.
In the combat at Kharn inflicts 4 wounds but 3 absorbed by the storm shield. The remaining wound goes through despite the 6+ FNP. The rest of the mutilators deal 3 wounds, again, all but one of the wounds absorbed by the storm shield finishing off the command squad.
Kharn and Co. consolidate towards the land raider in order to pile in during their next movement phase. The Land Raider then attempt to vaporize the last remaining biker.
The Khorne Land Raider moves twelve in order to snap shot at the remaining guy biker. The Khorne Hell drake finally shows up and moves over to the corner in order to go into hover and contest the objective the next turn.
The Khorne cultists move up to contest the No Man’s Land that is part of the mission objective. All the firepower on the biker squad proves ineffective.
Top of 5
The bikers break for the rear arc of the land raider to avoid any shots and finish off the cultists.
Eric mulls over going for the corner to finishing off the cultists or heading back to the corner where the bunker was to take that objective.
“If you don’t kill the land raider you’ll be giving me 10 points for not killing he land Raider,” Kenny tells Eric, Typically you don’t interrupt your opponent but that’s too much of an epic fuck up.”
The Grav shots roll into the Land Raider but the rolling is bad and only 1 hull point is stripped leaving it with two. Mothra, aka the Khorne Heldrake flies ontop of the building and hovers in order to contest the objective.
The cultists bunch up in case the game continues to try and prevent the bikers from mopping them up. but don’t run in order to continue contesting the obejective.
The game ends on a 1 and Chaos pulls out a victory.
Top 3 New Formations in 40k Long War Episode 48
About the Author: Felix Fimbres
