So, Samuel L. Jackson has survived his way to Warhammer 40K and he is ready to address everyone on the glories of the Shadowsword.
Col. Samuel L. Jackson is here today to talk… err…. yell about the glories of the Imperial Guard and how the Shadowsword will punish heretics and be your new best friend in 8th Edition.
COLONEL SAM L JACKSON TALKS TACTICS- SHADOWSWORD
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM. I AM COLONEL SAM JACKSON OF THE NECROMUNDA HITMEN AND I AM HERE TO TELL YOU WHY THE IMPERIAL GUARD IS GOING TO PUT ITS MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF THE ROCK’S BOOTS ON YOUR THROAT IN 8TH EDITION.
SOME OF YOU WRETCHED HERETIC MUTHAWITCHES ARE SOMEHOW MISTAKEN IN BELIEVING THAT THE GUARD WILL NOT DESTROY YOUR BUTTS THIS EDITION. I AM HERE TO TELL YOU WHY YOU ARE WRONG.
FIRST THING ON MY LIST OF WHY GUARD WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE IN 8E. IT’S THE SHADOWSWORD. THIS SUPERHEAVY MUTHAWITCH IS THE MOST BUSTED UP VEHICLE IN THE WHOLE 41ST MILLENNIUM.
YOU GOT WRAITHKNIGHTS? CHAOS KNIGHT TITANS? MUTHAWITCHIN KHORNE TANKS WITH AXES AND SKULL CANNONS? SNAKES ON YOUR MUTHAWITCHIN PLANE? A MUTHAWITCHIN PRIMARCH? SHARKS?
I DON’T CARE.
BRING YOUR BIGGEST DAMN MODEL. I DARE YOU MUTHAWITCH, I DOUBLE-DOG-DARE YOU. TRY THAT ON COLONEL SAM JACKSON. BRING ALL YOUR SNAKES ON MY MUTHAWITCHIN PLANE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. SHADOWSWORD, SON.
YOU GOT A BIG MODEL? YOU GONNA KILL MY WHOLE ARMY WITH IT? NO, YOU’RE NOT.
BLESSED IS HE WHO OWNS A SHADOWSWORD FOR I WILL STRIKE DOWN WITH GREAT VENGEANCE AND FURIOUS VOLCANO CANNONS THOSE WHO SEEK TO POISON MY BROTHER!
IT DOES 21 WOUNDS ON AVERAGE, MUTHAWITCH! 21 WOUNDS! WHAT YOU GOT IN YOUR ARMY THAT’S GONNA SURVIVE THAT?
I AM COLONEL SAM JACKSON OF THE NECROMUNDA HITMEN, REMINDING YOU THAT THE GUARD IS GOING TO WALK INTO YOUR HOMES AND MAKE THEMSELVES WELCOME NEXT EDITION, MUTHAWITCH!
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About the Author: Jack Stover
