Situated mightily atop his brass and skull throne the level-headed Lord Khrone is angry, and he has taken to social media to talk about it.
GREETINGS IDIOTS, IT’S ME, KHORNE, AND AS USUAL, I AM VERY MAD AT YOU FOR REASONS THAT ARE UNNECESSARY TO EXPLAIN.
BUT I’LL EXPLAIN THEM TO YOU ANYWAY, SINCE YOU MORONS ARE STANDING AROUND READING THIS ARTICLE ON YOUR PHONE INSTEAD OF INDISCRIMINATELY MURDERING PEOPLE LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO.
YOU MORONS WILL DO ANYTHING EXCEPT TAKE SKULLS
IT’S COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT GAMES WORKSHOP, IN THEIR INFINITE WISDOM, RECENTLY HAD A FACEBOOK CAMPAIGN WHERE IF YOU JACKOFFS SHARED THEIR POSTS 500 TIMES OR SOME CRAP LIKE THAT, THEY’D MAKE A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT THEIR NEW WARHAMMERLAMMERDINGDONG CAFE THEY’RE OPENING IN TEXAS OR SOME CRAP. WHERE’S TEXAS? SOMEWHERE UNDER THE CONTINENT-SPANNING IMPERIAL PALACE I IMAGINE, I HEAR THAT PLACE REALLY WENT TO CRAP AFTER HORUS SIEGED IT. MAN, THOSE WERE GOOD TIMES.
ANYWAY, IT TURNS OUT YOU DINGUSES ACTUALLY DID IT, AND WHAT WAS THE ANNOUNCEMENT? IT WAS THAT THE STORE WAS GOING TO HAVE FORGEWORLD IN STOCK ON LOCATION.
WHICH I GUESS IS PRETTY GREAT, IF YOU WANT TO BUY MODELS THAT AREN’T KHORNE BERZERKERS, BLADES OF KHORNE, OR KHORNE DEMONS. MY QUESTION TO YOU IS, IDIOT, WHY ARE YOU BUYING ANYTHING BESIDES MORE KHORNE WORSHIPERS? YOU DON’T NEED A FANCY NEW SPACE MARINE GI JOE HOVER TANK, YOU NEED MORE SKULLS FOR MY THRONE, YOU LAZY BASTARDS. YOU MAKE ME SICK, BUYING MODELS THAT DON’T HAVE AXES FOR FACES OR FISTS OR AXES. IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO IMPRESS ME, YOU’D GO BUILD A GIANT AXE OUT OF SEVERAL SMALLER AXES, THEN KILL SOMEONE WITH IT.
SINCE APPARENTLY THE ONLY THING YOU INTERNET ZOMBIE LOSERS DO ALL DAY IS PRAY TO THE EMPEROR FOR LIKES AND SHARES, LET’S TRY A NEW EXPERIMENT. IT’S VERY SIMPLE, SO EASY EVEN A LOSER THAT DOESN’T COLLECT SKULLS FOR ME CAN DO IT.
ALL I WANT YOU TO DO IS COMMENT ‘BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!’ ON THIS POST, OR IF YOU’RE REALLY SAUCY, YOU CAN REPLY TO SOMEONE ELSE’S POST WITH ‘SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!’ AND SHARE IT.
IDEALLY, SHARE IT TO SOMEONE THAT YOU KNOW IS A PUNK, LIKE A SLAANESH WORSHIPER, AN ELDAR PLAYER, OR ONE OF THOSE JACKASSES THAT LIKES GREY KNIGHTS OR CUSTODES BECAUSE THEY’RE TOO LAZY TO PAINT A REAL ARMY SO THEY PLAY THE ONE THAT’S ONLY 15 MODELS SPRAY PAINTED GOLD OR SILVER.
GO AND DO MY BIDDING AND SPREAD HATRED AND RAGE ACROSS THE FACEBOOK, AND I’LL ANNOUNCE SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT ABOUT THE FUTURE OF 40K.
JUST KIDDING, I’LL DO THE ANNOUNCEMENT RIGHT NOW.
IF YOU DON’T PLAY KHORNE YOU SUCK AND I’LL SEND SKULLTAKER TO MURDER YOU AND TURN YOUR SPINE INTO A COAT RACK FOR MY LIVING ROOM.
IF YOU DO PLAY KHORNE, I’LL KILL YOU LAST.
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About the Author: Jack Stover
