As much as I hate the Imperium, I think the answer to one of the next big meta shifts is resting on the shoulders of Papa Smurf and his blueberry crew.
The next three big 40k releases are going to introduce us to a world of first turn pain the likes of which we haven’t seen since Deep Striking was possible on turn one. There are three different armies in the game right now that in the next few months will be dumping mountains of models on your front and back door.
Smurf in a Box: 40k’s Next Alpha Strike Counter?
Space Wolves are coming and that means Thunder Wolf Cavalry. While I don’t personally believe that Thunder Wolves are going to be the monsters they were last edition now that they can’t bounce wounds off characters or take a mortal wound on the chin, they’re still going to be a fast, hard-hitting unit that is probably going to have a lot of potential to race off the starting line and hit something.
The biggest thing Space Wolves have going for them is that we already know their chapter tactic is +1 to hit in close combat when charging/charged. Since most marines are already sitting on a 3+ anyway, this means that any pound puppy hanging out with a boss man that re-rolls 1’s is pretty much guaranteed to hit with whatever he’s got.
Orks are coming soon, and if 30 Boyz catch you, that’s a lot of dice and not a lot you can do about it. Orks have traditionally been more foot-sloggy, but between Forgeworld Chinorks and Battlewagons, don’t be surprised to find out that if an Ork player really wants to, he’ll find a way to put a lot of Choppas in your face.
Genestealer Cults already have the fattest alpha strike in the game. As the only army that can put models on your table edge on turn 1 and charge right in, and they’ll bring a Psyker to make you shoot yourself in the foot too. With their codex, they’ll probably only get better at what they do.
You Are Entering a World of Pain
It’s pretty safe to assume that once these armies really start rolling, (And GSC already is despite being stuck in an index) that you’re going to be sitting on a lot of hurt if your opponent gets first turn. And there’s not much you can do to keep him from setting up a turn one charge. If for some reason, he can’t get a turn one charge, don’t worry about it, because whatever he doesn’t get on turn one he will double down on turn 2.
Since we know we’re going to get hit, the question becomes what do we put out in front to speedbump these jerks? The easy answer has always been bubble wrap. Use cheap infantry to stop the bleeding.
However, with the changes to Reaper in ITC, your opponent scores for every 20 models killed throughout the game, and doesn’t have to clean out individual units. If your opponent is taking a murder swarm of Hormagaunts, Cult ambushes, or Wagons full of Choppas, it’s a safe bet that your Lasgun bubblewrap is going to give up points, only stop the choppy horde for a turn, and fail to stall the momentum.
You can also reasonably expect that in a Knight-heavy meta, your opponent might have a shooting phase full of Gatling guns or Castellan firepower that will happily blow a hole in whatever they want to get the chop-chop into your soft parts.
The Smurf in a Box Savior
But what if there was a hard peanut core mixed into that bubble wrap that the ravaging hordes of Genestealers and Choppa Boyz couldn’t avoid?
What if we shoved an Ultramarines Dreadnought in the middle of our speedbump line to stop the bleeding. Here’s how and why it could work.
Tough:
Dreadnoughts, while not the toughest units in the game, are just fat enough to survive a round or 2 of combat against low strength opponents without access to power tools. They will probably still take wounds due to the weight of dice, but most Dreadnoughts do not have a decaying statline. Any number of wounds above zero is still full WS and BS.
Low Priority:
A Dreadnought will get smoked off the table in the shooting phase by anything that puts a little effort into killing it, but Dreadnoughts are low priority targets in ITC because they don’t qualify for the fattest secondary kill conditions. Moreover, because the model is low priority, the opponent might leave it alone on purpose to make sure they can pick it up for kill points in a later turn.
Low Points:
Every standard Contemptor and regular box chassis Dreadnought is under 200 points, making them not too much of a sacrifice in list building. You can cram a couple in a list and still get your heavy hitters and your full CP Battalion battery.
How it Works:
First, your Ultramarines Dreadnought is deployed in speedbump position where the opponent’s alpha must charge them in order to get in. This probably means that he’s either going down on either side of your army as a flank, anchor, or on the starting line in the middle of the bubble wrap where he’s unavoidable.
Then, your opponent charges in with the intent to wipe out the bubble wrap and box you into your own deployment zone. Keep in mind that for most of these high-pressure alphas to work, those hordes of choppy boys have to go in as soon as possible against whatever they can to keep up the board control and the pressure. They won’t think twice about mixing it up with a Dreadnought if they think it will get more of their bodies closer to an objective or Linebreaker credit.
Due to his high toughness, wounds, armor, and a little help from his friends, the Dreadnought survives the combat.
On your turn, he walks out. Then because he’s an Ultramarine, he shoots the jerks in the face. Rinse repeat until he’s dead or you have stalled or destroyed the opponent’s alpha strike momentum.
Now let’s look at what we have in the garage for this smurf in a box speedbump.
Relic Contemptor- 185
At 185 he’s the steepest candidate for the job, but he’s also the toughest and most threatening. With a 2+ armor save, a 5++ invulnerable, and a 6+ Feel No Pain, the relic Contemptor can take a rending claw to the face and come out swinging. He does have a decaying wound profile, but he needs to knock down to half before he starts losing steam.
Ironclad- 158
The next best man for the job is the Ironclad in this configuration with a Chainfist, a Heavy Flamer, Assault Launchers, and a Hurricane Bolter. He doesn’t strictly need the launchers, but they have mortal wound potential for 5 points, so why not. The Clad only wears power armor but has the unique distinction of being Toughness 8, so horde infantry is wounding him on 6s.
That by itself will turn off a lot of potential hurt. Once he walks out of the fight, he can immediately put some pepper into the enemies with his hurricane bolter and heavy flamer. Not a bad charge deterrent for a dated kit.
Venerable Cheapo Dakkanaught- 132
The Venerable Dreadnought in this configuration shows up as the cheapest option with a Missile Launcher and twin Heavy Bolters. You could theoretically upgrade the guns to an Assault Cannon and keep a fist with a Heavy Flamer or Storm Bolter too. But I wanted this speedbump to run as cheap as possible. He doesn’t have the firepower or resilience of the relic Contemptor or the Ironclad, but he does try with a 6+ Feel No Pain.
The real reason to like this guy as a speed bump is because he’s cheap and he’s accurate. With a native 2+ BS that will never decay, if he finds himself standing next to a boss man with a reroll bubble, he will never miss. Put all those Frag Missile and Bolter shots right into the horde.
Snapfit Contemptor- 165
For 165 points this guy is the absolute last stop and the worst option, the poverty Contemptor that you would only take if you owned no other model. With how much better you get with an extra 20 points for a relic Contemptor, you’re better off just taking 2 of these kits, hacking the arm off one of them, and gluing up a dual Kheres relic. The poverty Contemptor doesn’t have the FNP, the 2+ saves, or the dakka of the relic.
It has a single machine gun and a fist with a storm bolter in it. It will do the job, but not at the value or effectiveness of any other Dreadnought on this list.
About the Author: Jack Stover
