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The Imperium Can’t Afford To Buy Cawl’s New Inventions

admech walCawl has shifted the focus of inventions to his own armies now that the Primaris have a good footing,  except the Imperium, can’t afford his stuff…

Belisarius Cael has been making all sorts of new units that’ll be adding much-needed speed to the Adeptus Mechanicus army line. There’s just one problem. He’s raised the prices to where Forge Worlds and the rest of the Imperium can’t afford anything. Here’s his new business plan in action.

The Imperium Can’t Afford Cawl’s New Inventions

Belisarius CawlBelisarius Cawl: Let me flip on the news here…

*Turns to news channel 14*

necron ctan14 news reporter: This just in… Necrons have captured the soul of a 40k fan after seeing all the new GW price hike announcements. Things are not looking good here.

Belisarius Cawl: Bahahaha! Hey Servitor 01101, have you seen what GW’s been doing? They’re raising the prices AGAIN. That’s three price hikes in two years. Oh and let’s not forget about that currency arbitrage exchange rate on their stuff! I could learn something from them. Now that I’ve got all my new toys ready for shipping, I can start WHEELIN’ AND DEALIN’ baby!

admech archaeopter walForge World Ryza: Hey Cawl, can we get a couple of those new Archaeopters?

Belisarius Cawl: Yeah that’ll be 60 Imperial credits each, please.

Forge World Ryza: What? those would’ve been like 40 Imperial credits less than a year ago.

Belisarius Cawl: *automizing witty retort 0-13 Alpha* uhhh… inflation?

Forge World Ryza: Whatever. Listen, I don’t have any Imperial credits on me. Can I use our Forge World’s currency? We’ve got these newly printed Ryzian cogs now. After all, money is money, right?

techpriestBelisarius Cawl: Yeah that’s fine. But it’ll cost you more. I’ll take 100 of those Cog funny money.

Forge World Ryza: What? why?

Belisarius Cawl: There’s this thing called a… *cough* currency exchange rate *cough* arbitrage. It’s in the books… totes legit.

Forge World Ryza: But… you’ve got factories here on our planet that are making these ships…Why would you have to charge me a premium to pay in our own currency?

Space Wolf ShieldBelisarius Cawl: Hang on I’m getting a call from the Space Wolves.

Lt. AWOOOO!: Yo Cawl we need more Intercessors. The last batch fought a Daemon that looked like a vacuum cleaner and it didn’t end well.

Belisarius Cawl: Sure thing. That’ll be 35 Imperial credits

Lt. AWOOOO!: We’ve started our own currency called Pelt bucks. They’re still recognized everywhere. Can I use them as payment?

Belisarius Cawl: Yeah sure but it’ll cost more. How’s about 60 of those pelt thingies?

Lt. AWOOOO!: What why? you’ve literally got a bunker of Primaris in stasis on Fenris ready to go. I just need a few more. Are you price gouging me?

Belisarius Cawl: N… NO!… No. It’s called arbitrage. I need even more for the convenience of you paying in your own money.

Lt. AWOOOO!: Are you kidding me? You realize your Tech-Priests running the Primaris stasis silo all use those pelt bucks to pay rent and buy groceries right…

Belisarius Cawl: Yeah but I don’t.

Lt. AWOOOO!: Our lines are crumbling! Stop sitting on these weapons we need so badly!… AAGHGHH…

*end Transmission*

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About the Author: Wesley Floyd

Imperial fanboy, tabletop fanatic, King of sprues.