Our very own Jack Stover is going into depth about army bundles we wished were real. Come take a look at what his ideal dream bundles are!
ADEPTUS ASTARTES PARKING LOT
Contents- 3 rhinos at a small discount.
Reason- The recent boxing up of tactical squads with transports into bundle deals was a great step forward for GW, because putting troops on the table is actually one of the most expensive parts of the hobby. It’s a well known fact that most infantry units in 40k don’t do crap without a ride, and for your wallet, putting down that drop pod or transport just to get to the show can double down on the squad. That’s why if GW ever created a bundle of Rhinos… just Rhinos, the ubiquitous transport that you can never get enough of, we’d buy them out of stock constantly.
CHAPTER MASTER EASY RIDER
Contents- A Space Marine commander kit and a Space Marine bike at a small discount.
Reason- Toughness 5. 12” move. Relentless. The Shield Eternal. A thunder hammer. There’s some things money can’t buy, for everything else, there’s the fury of the Emperor.
TERMICIDAL TENDENCIES
Contents- 3 Chaos Terminators. They don’t even have to be a discount, just lower the price and the model count accordingly.
Reason- Termicide is the time honored points and elites slot dump and unit tax of the Chaos Space Marine codex. Get 3 jerks. Give them combi guns. Deep strike in and pull triggers. Whatever happens after that is in Khorne’s hands. There’s just one problem- The box we have comes with 2 more Terminators than you need. And what the hell is with that random tentacle arm anyway?
THE THREE AMIGOS
Contents- 3 plastic Contemptors in a box for a small discount.
Reason- Contemptors are cool as hell and you want a whole talon.
SAIM HANN QUIDDITCH TEAM
Contents- A Jetbike Farseer and some Jetbike Warlocks at a small discount.
Reason- Whether or not it’s meta, Eldar players have been fantasizing about plastic seer councils on jetbikes for as long as most young 40k players have been alive, but because Farseers and Warlocks were always fat chunks of pewter, it was always an impossible conversion to pull off. Now that the models actually exist, the dream is real, and why isn’t there a box on the shelf for it?
GANGS OF COMMORAGH
Contents- The Dark Eldar models that nobody buys.
Reason- That’s the joke.
DEFFKOPTALYPSE NOW
Contents- Deffkoptas, they don’t even have to be discounted, they just have to be purchasable in plastic.
Reason- All 15 hardcore lifelong Ork players left on this earth that didn’t quit the army after the most recent codex are constantly trawling eBay for Black Reach leftovers.
BETTER CULTIST ASSAULT
Contents- Cultists and a Dark Apostle
Reason- The existing Cultist Assault box is almost good. 20 cultists and the aspiring champion model… But the aspiring champion? Really? And only 20? That’s barely one squad for those bullet-catching losers. Throw at least 40 in a box with a corrupted Crozius and we’ll talk.
SPACE MARINE DEMI COMPANY AUXILIARIES
Contents- A commander, an assault squad, a devastator squad, at a small discount.
Reason- With the demi-company now being the core of Marine formation list format, it makes sense to create a bundle deal that pads out the 1-3 options that are required. We have enough opportunities to load up on Tactical Marines already.
CHAOS SPACE MARINE WARBAND AUXILIARIES
Contents- A Chaos Lord, a Terminator squad, a bike squad.
Reason- Like the demi company, the warband is the new normal for Traitor Legion formatting, and an ideal way to bulk out the unit tax.
WARHAMMER 40QUEST
Contents- A bunch of Space Marine heroes, some Chaos Marines, Cultists, a Helbrute, and a bunch of cardboard map tiles.
Reason- Because Warhammer quest, but 40k.
FORGOTTEN CRUSADE OF DAMOCLES GULF
Contents- A bunch of Black Templars and Vespid Stingwings.
Reason- On some shitty backwater planet in the Tau Empire, the home world of the Vespids is besieged by the Black Templars- Their only hope is to throw a bunch of the crappy models nobody wants into a box with some space marine models people actually do want in order to get rid of Games Workshop’s most horrible nemesis- The rental cost of the warehouse holding the stockpile of Stingwings that never sold
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About the Author: Jack Stover
