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Comrade Tau Says Morty is Smelly & Ad Mech Inferior

By Jack Stover | September 29th, 2017 | Categories: jstove, satire, Tau

tau fire warrior hor wal

That attractive Tau Propaganda Officer has swaggered his way back to us, with news of why Morty is smelly and why Ad Mech is a hillbilly version of the Tau!

Greetings sadly misinformed Gue’la of the Imperiums of Mans, it is I, glorious Water Caste Tau Propaganda Officer, here to be of telling you of news around the galaxy from enlightened perspective of superior Greater Good Tau Empire.

Lately, Gulag Workshop is having tight leash on rumor monger scoundrels, and abused, pitiable Gue’la are in dark on futures of 40k. Naturally, this is problem Tau are not having, since great Ethereal Caste is all knowing and infallible. If you were join Greater Good, you would have great knowledge of all things, like handsome strong Tau player.

Because we are generous and diplomatic race, powerful and erudite Ethereal Caste has authorized me to reveal to you great truths of 40k so that you will see lights of reason and join righteous Tau Empire.

Tau Meme

Stinky Rick and Morty man is dumb smelly army

Giant green man from sack of peas in freezer section of grocery store grew wings and is now big model for stinky green space men. Imperial Gue’la, by nature of their superstition and fractious ways, believe that Morty big green man is evil Guard of Death. Silly Gue’la, are you not aware that all religions of man and petty ideals are pointless before truth of Greater Good? To the Tau, there is no difference between stinky, fat, green marine men and normal, blue, clean marine men.

All humans are smelly savages in the eyes of the Tau. No news here, only dumb fat models of green tubby snot men.

Backwards human robot man book is coming

Adeptus Mechanicus, which is like backwood, redneck, hillbilly version of glorious Earth Caste, is of getting new codex with rules for different Forging Worlds. Probably not new models, unless you count old, giant, fat, robot man on big base, Billy Sarah Connor Cawl. Adeptus Mechanicus codex will be pile of Kroot dung, because technology of Imprezas of man is inferior and dumb. Billy Cawl has been playing with tinker toys for 10,000 years and he just got around to getting plasma weapon to stop exploding. Great Tau Earth Caste already make many robot with lots of plasma gun that never overheat.

Cawl meme Tinker

You will be skipping this release to saving your Capitalist money for waiting for Tau codex instead.

More dumb codex book followed by smarter better book

Imperials Right Guard of Astral Milimeter is of getting codex soon, to finish out giant, bloated, Imperial of Man faction. No word of Sisters of Battle ever getting codex because Gulag Workshop is hating nun bolter womens. Afterward, Tyranid maybe get codex and other dumb alien that are not as numerous as humans. They are equally ignorant of truth of Greater Good. Then, hopefully, mighty Tau codex, which you will be of buying every copy collector edition.

Thank you for reading great truthful article of Tau propaganda. As usual, Tau is best army and Tau player is most handsome man in shop with many girlfriends who is make cowards out of players of all other armies. He also never losing the game of Warhamster Forty Ounces.

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About the Author: Jack Stover

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