Jstove is back again with his take on Orktober, the new Ork units that are on the way, and how much the green tide will cost you to field in 8th.
So as I write this article, Orktober is almost over. We’ve all seen the new rules for all the flashy new Speed Freeks Buggies, and I am not happy because…
I Want Orks to Be Good
First of all, nobody is rooting for the Orks more than me. As a Mad Max enthusiast, I am probably getting a Speed Freeks box and at least one of each new buggy. Just because the models are super badass and I’ll paint the Orks white and make them Warboys. If all else fails, I’ll just dig up my old copy of Gorkamorka and play Orks the way Gork, Mork, and Andy Chambers intended.
And as far as Orks go, I do think the army has the potential to be good if GW hits the right rules and the right combos. There are a lot of bread and butter models in the Ork book that are just dying to be super badass. All with a little bit of stratagem spice. I want to believe that the next horde infantry mega combo like the Alpha Legion Forward Operator or the Tzaangor bomb is going to be in Codex Orks.
But this article isn’t about speculation. This article is about what we already know. What we already know looks grim for our wallets.
Failtober: Orks Will Be The Most Costly GW Army Ever
Got Boyz? If you’ve played Orks since Assault On Black Reach and are already standing on a mountain of snap-fit Boyz and Deffkoptas, then you’re probably in good shape. Codex Orks should be a lot of fun once you get past the fact that 90% of the Mad Max buggies are going to be dead on arrival based on the rules we already know. But veteran Ork players are no strangers to having badass models that never perform, it comes with the faction.
The problem is for new players, especially new players in 8th edition. Look at all the best stratagems and perks in the game and you’ll see that they mostly affect infantry. Infantry always gets Chapter Tactics/Doctrines/Kabals/etc. and some model types in an army don’t.
Stratagems & Infantry are the Wombo Combos
Furthermore, most of the buffest wombo combo stratagems that an army has at its disposal affect infantry. Flakk Missiles and Hellfire Rounds can only affect missile launchers and heavy bolters carried by dudes. Super clutch Blood Angel Slam Captain stratagems are again, only on dudes.
All the workhorse stratagems in Chaos like Vets of the Long War and Endless Cacophony? Only works on dudes. But what about stuff like Kill Shot? Kill Shot isn’t a bad stratagem, but it does require you to drop three Predators on the table. That’s a huge commitment.
With the way GW designs the game, all the biggest combo pieces are on infantry units, and the bigger that unit is, the more value you get by dumping command points on it.
What does that mean for Ork players? It means that you’re playing an army that’s notorious for having a ton of bodies, and whether you go for Grotz, Boyz, or Stormboyz, there’s no way you’re getting away from having a ton of bodies. You’re just always going to need dudes.
They Ain’t Getting Cheaper
Here’s the BIG PROBLEM.
If you aren’t already playing Orks, don’t bother. It’s the most expensive army in the game. Plus a bunch of sweet buggies are coming out that won’t make it any easier. They are not strong enough to pick up the slack that you’ll have if you don’t grab a ton of boys.
START COLLECTING ORKS- $85, eleven Boyz.
ORK BOYZ- $29, eleven Boyz.
STORM BOYZ- $25, five Boys.
GROTZ- $16, ten Grotz, one Runtherder.
MEK GUNZ- $46, one gun. (Ork artillery is fielded in batteries of up to 3)
Are you beginning to see the problem here?
It Takes Money to Play Orks
Orks are the most expensive army in the game to play. Period. The cost of ownership for an Ork army destroys every other army in the game in the race to your wallet. The red ‘unz really do go fasta when it’s time for you to pull out that credit card.
- It takes you $90 to make one full-size mob of Boyz.
- It takes $150 to make one battery of Mek guns.
- lastly, it costs you a spare kidney to make a full-size mob of Stormboyz or Tankbustas.
Not an Army for Lightweights
Now I can already hear some of you Facebook commenters with no reading comprehension or attention to detail commenting on this article, so let me beat you to the punch-
“Well it’s an expensive hobby, you don’t wanna pay, don’t play.”
There’s a HUGE difference between dropping down $400 for a pair of Renegade boxes and having a complete Knight army and dropping $90 on Boyz for one troop choice. Or even $150 on Mek guns for a single Heavy Support choice.
Walking in and out of the GW store, the Ork player spends three times as much money to get less gas on the table than any other army in the game. That’s not a matter of me being a cheapskate. That’s a matter of a fundamental flaw in the marketability of the faction.
For all those people for whom money is not an object and they say they don’t mind, this bit of advice- Just because you’re a millionaire, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t shop at Costco.
The Worst Part
When most armies get a new codex, they make strides into becoming cheaper to own. Grey Knights dropped phenomenally in the cost of ownership when their entire range went plastic. As did Necrons and Dark Eldar. Chaos and Space Marines. Back to back edition starter boxes and plastic snap-fits have made bad guy Marines and good guy Marines super easy to get into.
Imperial Guard has many of the manpower problems that Orks do, but they can alleviate the issue by relying on a variety of strong firepower units to eat up the points that a Guard player might not want to spend on bodies. Most codex updates purge older metal and resin models and hopefully replace them with plastic alternatives that become cheaper.
For the Orks, this didn’t happen for two editions. Not only were expensive non-plastic models not purged from the roster, but the snazzy new models were not effective alternatives. Gorka/Morkanauts did not alleviate the need for Ork players to rely on Boyz and Battlewagons.
Specialist units like Tankbustaz and Stormboyz remained resin. Orks remained eleven to a box. Orks are an army that by the end of Orktober, will be three editions behind in terms of modernization.
Unless GW is sitting on a really great deal for getting a lot of Boyz that they haven’t told us about yet. The Speed Freeks will not carry the army. You’re still going to end up needing to buy a lot of boots somewhere.
And that, more than the codex being good or bad, is going to keep Orks off the top tables.
About the Author: Jack Stover
