Roboute Guilliman is back again and giving Belisarius Cawl an earful over the Primaris Repulsor Executioner, and the fact he has to share it now.
Jstove is here again giving us an inside look at a conversation between Rowboat Girlyman and Belisarius Cawl on the new Primaris FAQ…
Roboute Reacts to Sharing His Toys
Guilliman- I hope you already know why I summoned you here.
Cawl- Is it about making another new kind of power armor? More lieutenants? Little puffs coming out of smoke grenades? I thought that was one of my more genius ideas, those smoke grenade puffs.
Guilliman- Yes those actually were great. That’s not why you’re here today though. Today, I want to talk about the position of Fabricator General…
Cawl- Fabricator General! Yes, of course, I-
Guilliman- and why you’re not getting it.
Cawl- Is this about the time I suggested using gene-seed reserves from Traitor Legions?
Guilliman- Nope.
Cawl- Is this about the time I made Primaris Marines too fat to fit in Rhinos and other normal Marine transports?
Guilliman- No, I’m afraid this is a fresh new insult. Look at this data slate.
Cawl- It’s the new FAQ for the Repulsor. It says any Marine Chapter can use it now, even Deathwatch.
Guilliman- This is why I’m not giving you Fabricator General.
Cawl- Why?
Guilliman- because screw em, that’s why!
Cawl- That does not compute!
Guilliman- You ever think maybe I want a bunch of badass dudes riding pound puppies, smacking everyone with thunder hammers and eating Lascannon shots with 3++ saves?
Cawl- That’s Space Wolf only.
Guilliman- Or maybe I want plasma guns on my Bikes so that maybe they don’t suck.
Cawl- Dark Angels.
Guilliman- And since when did Sanguinius get all the nipple armor? Hello? Roman Empire theme here? That should be my gig. Also, did he ever share his fancy hot rod Rhino engine or his Baal Predator?
Cawl- He did share the Stormraven…
Guilliman- Grudgingly. After the Grey Knights got it first.
Cawl- So what you’re saying is… You’re mad that everyone can use my latest invention.
Guilliman- What I’m saying is, Space Marines suck at sharing. And if I catch you designing any new hardware for non-codex compliant Chapters, I’ll kick your metal ass so hard it’ll delete your System 32 file.
Cawl- Sir!
Guilliman- Oh and while you’re at it doing your nerd stuff, go and pipe this message through the HPG or the Astropath or the Warhammer Community page or whatever- Ahem, “Dear everybody who isn’t an Ultramarine, if you want cool stuff, either read my damn book or wait for your own crappy fathers to come back and save your edgy Chapters.”
Do you think the Repulsor Executioner should have been an Ultramarine-only vehicle? Do Grey Knights need Primaris love? Let us know in the comments of our Facebook Hobby Group, and sign up to get your free hobby updates newsletter each morning as well!
