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What Your Warhammer 40k Flyer Says About You

By Wesley Floyd | May 21st, 2020 | Categories: 40k News & Articles, satire

i-wanna-go-fastEver wonder what your favorite Flyer says about you in Warhammer 40k? Check out what everyone else sees when you hit the table with your aircraft of choice.

Flyers have probably never been more popular than they are now in 8th edition. You might not have known it, but there’s a lot that your Flyer says about you. Take a look at the results for these units.

the 8+ Stormraven Spam Man

danteYou’ll have to think back to the very start of 8th edition for this one. Go back to before the Boots on the Ground rule or the Rule of three was a thing. We saw players take Dante and literally cram as many Stormravens into their list as they could with the points leftover. This just made a network of flyers with re-rolls from the chief golden boi himself.

These players have seen enough Indiana Jones movies in their life that their sub-conscience tells them that any wrong step could trigger a pressure plate in the ground. Never really sure if the floor is lava or not, these players just prefer to keep things in the sky.

The Single Stormraven Man

Stormraven landedThe single Stormraven man is the post-FAQ defeated form of the guy we just talked about. Since he can’t take Dante and an entire fleet of ships anymore, he’s decided to just run the one Stormraven and pop a CP to make it auto-explode. He knows he’s not winning but he just wants to cause as much damage as possible while not feeling bad about his other Stormravens gathering dust.

The Ares Gunship Man

ares gunshipWhen a player runs the Ares Gunship, what they’re really telling you is “I don’t have a Knight in my army but that’s okay because they’re for savages. Plus, this is better because it flies”.

The Chad Xiphon Interceptor Man

XiphonThe Xiphon Interceptor is for the dude that likes everything in their life high-speed low-drag. They also think they’d be the Tom Cruise equivalent to Top Gun if they lived in 40k.

top gunBut realistically, they’d probably be scamming people out of their corpse starch ration in the alleys of an underhive.

The Stormtalon Gunship Man

stormtalonThe guy that runs Stormtalons in his list is basically saying “yeah, this thing looks like a Tonka toy but I’m really just trying to win my games. Go Iron Hands.”

The Ork Dakkajet Man

ork dakkajetThe guy who uses Dakkajets is the same kind of person to brag about how many miles they’ve gotten out of their 1990s Ford pickup. He’ll also gladly tell you all the mods he’s done to his engine and muffler but doesn’t have automatic windows or A/C.

The Crimson Hunter Man

Crimson Hunter Dark EldarThe guy who pilots Crimson Hunters in his list is the guy that likes to be as competitive as possible in every game. But secretly just mashes buttons and blames the rest of the team when things go bad. He also has a hard time making up his mind on which direction he wants to fly. Thank goodness for the Wings of Khaine rule to correct your mistakes, right?

Hopefully, you know by now that we’re joking and this is a 100% satire post. No matter how untrue (or true) you think these matchups are! We hope you’re all having a great time hobbying at home.

What do you think your Flyer says about you? Are any of these categories true for anyone you know?

Let us know in the comments of our Facebook Hobby Group, and make sure you enter the latest monthly giveaway for FREE today!

About the Author: Wesley Floyd

Imperial fanboy, tabletop fanatic, King of sprues.