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What Does Your Army Say About You in 40k?

imperial fist space marine walWhat does your army say about you in 40k? The answers may be blatantly obvious! Take a look at how your core army paints a picture of the player you are.

In 40k, there are armies of all different playstyles. You can tell a lot about a man by what army he mains in 40k. Here’s what your army says about you.

Orks

ork wal People see you and think, “Wow. This guy probably believes that smacking a TV when it doesn’t show the picture works on everything else in life.” For Ork players, your strategy stops at “I’m gonna hit it.” It’s not all bad though. Your strategies are sound. After all, the more moving parts you introduce, there are more chances of failure.

Dark Eldar

dark eldarFor Dark Eldar players, this is really dependent on your list. If players see you running 9 Flyers then they automatically know you’re playing the death of fun. But you don’t care because, after the game, you’re going to go home and google the next meta-list. Once you find that list, you’re going to text your friends but then realize you lost all of your friends playing your dumb Flyer list, so you get salty and take to the forums. (I didn’t have a bad experience I swear).


Emperor’s Children & Slaanesh

Lucius Faultless BladeFor the Emperor’s Children and Slaanesh players, people may look at you, and at first glance, think you’re just a regular everyday normal guy. But, when they see you pull out an army of claws and tentacles, they probably also think you host neighborhood-wide “after-dark basement puzzles” when the rest of your family is away.

Space Marines

melted marineFor Space Marine players, people look at you and think “well, this dude doesn’t have any other hobbies besides giving a blank check to GW every month.” Let’s face it. The pace of Space Marine releases has gotten insane and our power-armored wallets are wailing louder than the lost souls in Commorragh.

Tau

Tau Sept wal horFor players going against Tau, they probably think you just finished the final season of whatever anime and decided to come out of your room to get some Vitamin D.

You might’ve been on a simple food run but someone insulted your waifu and now you have to make them pay by letting them set their models on the table and then having them pick them all back up before the first charge phase.

Imperial/Chaos Knights

a lance knight walpaperThe dude running Knights is only running them because that’s all he had time to paint. Between swimming through hordes of girls wanting to get a whiff of his Old Spice scent and chugging brewski’s with the boys, three or four models is all he could get to. He doesn’t care about the lore or your feelings. He’s going to win the game and then go on a Tinder date with your mom that he swiped right on.

What do you think your army says about you? Obviously, this is all a joke in the name of fun but is there a shred of truth to any of these?

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About the Author: Wesley Floyd

Imperial fanboy, tabletop fanatic, King of sprues.