What does your army say about you in 40k? The answers may be blatantly obvious! Take a look at how your core army paints a picture of the player you are.
In 40k, there are armies of all different playstyles. You can tell a lot about a man by what army he mains in 40k. Here’s what your army says about you.
Orks
People see you and think, “Wow. This guy probably believes that smacking a TV when it doesn’t show the picture works on everything else in life.” For Ork players, your strategy stops at “I’m gonna hit it.” It’s not all bad though. Your strategies are sound. After all, the more moving parts you introduce, there are more chances of failure.
Dark Eldar
For Dark Eldar players, this is really dependent on your list. If players see you running 9 Flyers then they automatically know you’re playing the death of fun. But you don’t care because, after the game, you’re going to go home and google the next meta-list. Once you find that list, you’re going to text your friends but then realize you lost all of your friends playing your dumb Flyer list, so you get salty and take to the forums. (I didn’t have a bad experience I swear).
Emperor’s Children & Slaanesh
For the Emperor’s Children and Slaanesh players, people may look at you, and at first glance, think you’re just a regular everyday normal guy. But, when they see you pull out an army of claws and tentacles, they probably also think you host neighborhood-wide “after-dark basement puzzles” when the rest of your family is away.
Space Marines
For Space Marine players, people look at you and think “well, this dude doesn’t have any other hobbies besides giving a blank check to GW every month.” Let’s face it. The pace of Space Marine releases has gotten insane and our power-armored wallets are wailing louder than the lost souls in Commorragh.
Tau
For players going against Tau, they probably think you just finished the final season of whatever anime and decided to come out of your room to get some Vitamin D.
You might’ve been on a simple food run but someone insulted your waifu and now you have to make them pay by letting them set their models on the table and then having them pick them all back up before the first charge phase.
Imperial/Chaos Knights
The dude running Knights is only running them because that’s all he had time to paint. Between swimming through hordes of girls wanting to get a whiff of his Old Spice scent and chugging brewski’s with the boys, three or four models is all he could get to. He doesn’t care about the lore or your feelings. He’s going to win the game and then go on a Tinder date with your mom that he swiped right on.
What do you think your army says about you? Obviously, this is all a joke in the name of fun but is there a shred of truth to any of these?
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About the Author: Wesley Floyd
Wesley Floyd
Job Title: Staff Writer
Joined: 2018
Socials: @RealmbrushPainting
About Wesley Floyd: Wes has been in the Warhammer hobby since 2015 and joined the Spikey Bits writing team in 2018. He is known for his satirist takes on trending topics and imaginative yet amazingly affordable hobby solutions to painting Warhammer miniatures.
Imperial fanboy, tabletop fanatic, and the self-proclaimed King of Sprues. He knows for a fact that Mephiston red is the best-tasting paint and is the commission painting equivalent of a Wendy’s 4 for $4. If you like what he writes and want to contact him or have your tabletop minatures painted (to a mostly okayish standard), message him on Instagram.
