GREETINGS MORTALS. IT IS I, THE RUMOR DEMON ENGINE. I HAVE INFILTRATED THE 3D SCULPTING DEPARTMENT TO BRING YOU MY CREATIONS.
I HAVE TAKEN A LIKING TO SOME OF THE POSES THAT THE PUNY LIFE FORMS AT GAMES WORKSHOP HAVE DESIGNED. THE POSES OF THESE MINIS MAY LOOK INNOCENT ON SOMETHING LIKE A SPACE MARINE. BUT I ASSURE YOU, YOUR SOUL WILL LEAVE YOUR BODY AS YOU FEAST UPON THE MAGNIFICENCE THAT ARE MY MODELS.
SEE THIS WEAKLING SPACE WOLF? I DELETED ALL THE “SPACE WOLFINESS” FROM THE MODEL AND MADE THIS BEAUTY.
BEHOLD, MY GREATER POSSESSED. ONE MAY THINK HE IS A PRIMARIS WOLF LORD FROM AFAR…BUT HAHAHA! AS YOU APPROACH YOUR DOOM YOU WILL FIND YOU HAVE BEEN FOOLED!
THE GREAT HORNED RAT IS A FRIEND OF MINE. WE GO WAY BACK AND USED TO HANG OUT DRINKING DR. PEPPER IN THE GARDEN OF NURGLE LISTENING TO BLINK 182. BUT THOSE DAYS ARE LONG GONE. I’VE ALWAYS LOVED THE GIANT RATS WITH STUPID WEAPONS AND DECIDED TO MAKE MY OWN MODEL WITH STUPID WEAPONS!
BASK IN THE GLORY THAT IS MY OBLITERATOR. I KEPT THE POSE AND JUST THREW A LITTLE BIT OF CHAOS PIZZAZ IN THE MIX. HE WILL SURELY MAKE THE LOYALISTS WET THEMSELVES. IT’S A SHAME THAT’LL WILL BE NOTHING NEW TO THE ULTRAMARINES.
DO I HAVE NO SHAME? NO, NOT REALLY… WELL, THERE IS ONE PART OF THE GW MODEL DEPARTMENT I REFUSED TO TOUCH AT LEAST
OBVIOUSLY, THERE WAS A GREATER DEMON THAT CAME HERE BEFORE ME. HIS MASTERPIECES ARE INSPIRATIONS FROM THE DEEPEST RECESSES OF THE WARP.
WHAT MORTAL MAN COULD DARE STAND IN THE PRESENCE OF THESE MONSTROSITIES…
SUUUUUUURE HE DEFEATED THE RAGE- IF YOU BELIEVE THAT I HAVE SOME BEACHFRONT PROPERTY ON CADIA TO SELL YOU.
DON’T STARE AT THIS ONE DIRECTLY IN THE EYE. IT WILL ROT YOUR MIND FROM THE INSIDE OUT.
I CAN ONLY ONE DAY HOPE TO POSSESSED SUCH ARTISTRY!
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About the Author: Wesley Floyd
Wesley Floyd
Job Title: Staff Writer
Joined: 2018
Socials: @RealmbrushPainting
About Wesley Floyd: Wes has been in the Warhammer hobby since 2015 and joined the Spikey Bits writing team in 2018. He is known for his satirist takes on trending topics and imaginative yet amazingly affordable hobby solutions to painting Warhammer miniatures.
Imperial fanboy, tabletop fanatic, and the self-proclaimed King of Sprues. He knows for a fact that Mephiston red is the best-tasting paint and is the commission painting equivalent of a Wendy’s 4 for $4. If you like what he writes and want to contact him or have your tabletop minatures painted (to a mostly okayish standard), message him on Instagram.
