There is a new weekly columnist around these parts now, as starting today Pimcron has invaded Spikey Bits. Go easy on him, it’s his first day!
Did you read that headline correctly?! Do your eyes deceive you?! Have your dreams been answered?! Well to answer your questions, yes, yes, no, no, wait. This is confusing, let me think. First question: yes. Second question: … no. Third question: … YES!
Pimcron Invades Spikey Bits!
I am the legendary satirical Warhammer columnist that truly needs no introduction. I typically just let my cultists herald my arrival with their chanting. For those of you who don’t know who I am, I’M PIMCRON! I’m just a normal, humble guy possessing the body of an ancient, metallic, alien horror. I don’t like to brag, but I’m like the love child produced by a wild cabin weekend with Einstein, Curie, and King Solomon. I used to be on Bell of Lost Souls for the past six years, generally providing a potent diet of fart jokes and Warhammer satire.
It took a while to transition over to this site, and I had some tough times so I had to sell the second P in my name. (shrugs) R. Kelly paid a ridiculous amount for my P, but I feel like maybe there was a miscommunication.
He gave me a bad eBay review.
So Spikey Bits owner Robbie B and I were at a secret cult meeting to resurrect the ghost of H.G. Wells, and we really hit it off. Turns out we had both halves to an ancient friendship ring and it just went from there. So by our powers combined, this column was born.
So What Can You Expect From My Articles?
If you haven’t picked up on it, I’m like super cereal about everything and you can expect a lot of words. I generally think of a Warhammer related topic and start-up my random word generator. That’s where you get my brave word combinations like Hyper-articulate Tangerine and Feline Tax Brackets. It’s not much, but it’s honest work.
Also, I generally don’t give two flips about whatever the new hotness is in the Meta. I’m an angry drunk, a great wingman, and I only play painted models. I like dancing in the rain, playing narrative games, and cleverly selling people letters of my name when they’re expecting bodily fluids. (It happens more often than you’d expect) I love the hobby, playing fun games with my friends, and sticking it to the man.
Feline Tax Brackets are a hot topic.
I play 3 games in my free time: Warhammer 40k, Age of Sigmar, and Brutality Skirmish Wargame. Then I constantly badger my wife, co-workers, and local legislators about my opinions on these games. The County Commissioners won’t even answer my emails anymore regarding the Chinacast debate.
Here’s a list of my opinions:
- Paint Models- Yes
- Base Models- If you want
- Buy the models you love regardless of power level- Yes
- Chase the Meta- No
- Proxies- Tastefully done, yes
- Rules Lawyers- Seize their means of (re)production
So there it is, kids. You can step off that ledge, recap that bottle, and breathe easy knowing that not only is Papa Pimcron back, but he has a new column and a new home.
Anyway, next week I should be up and running with my new column. Mark it on your calendar.
Do you even know who this is? What am I rambling on about?
Click the picture to use any models from any genre in this fantastic RPG-lite skirmish wargame.
A pocket Narrative rulebook for your *favorite* 28mm wargame.
This podcast will entertain you.
