Rogal Dorn has been with his brothers for a while now and wants to throw his two cents in to Forge World. Check out what he has to say.
Hello. It is I, Rogal Dorn of the VII Legion. I’ve got a bone to pick with Forge World. Now, usually I’m a pretty reserved fellow and even the Ultramarines think I’m just as cool as their Roman-themed Smurf of a Dad, but I’m just not sure what I did to make the model creators at Forge World mad. I only successfully defended Holy Terra from the worst act Mankind has ever executed on itself.
Why Do My Brothers Get Cool Bases?
Look at my brothers. They’ve got a dynamic base with Magnus slinging rocks around instead of using his Primarch Power Axe (but whatever, he was always weird… that’s beside the point). Leman is just about to take that psychic-embued rock to the chin and proceed to give Maggy the ol’ Fenrisian One-Two.
Now check out Konrad. He’s super edgy and only likes Pop Punk music and pizza rolls. Just treat him like your adolescent son who swears “it’s not a phase” and keep your distance. But looking at Konrad, he’s striking a pose that you’d expect from a man that just skinned two people’s faces off. I knew Dad was making a mistake by letting him watch Batman and horror movie reruns every Saturday when we were growing up. Nonetheless, I’m jealous of his base.
Just when I thought to myself “hey at least I don’t have the worst base of all my brothers,” Forge World showed up and previewed the rest of Sanguinius.
Ol’ Sangy went from looking like he was hanging onto the rock with his hams, to executing whatever that big red thing is. I remember seeing some of those on the Vengeful Spirit when I had to wade my way past Traitors to get to the Emperor.
I Deserve Better
Annnnd then there’s me. Not only does my base suck, but I also look like a disgruntled Mall Cop surveying the peasants eating at the food court. Look, I get the fact that I was stuck on Terra making the universe’s best Man Cave during the entire Heresy, but you couldn’t have given me a base that looks more like a fortified position? Or maybe me just flexing my biceps? I had a lot of time to get ready for Horus so a couple of the boys and I hit the gym pretty often.
And what’s the deal with that random Night Lord Marine? First of all, it looks like you crumped up bits in your hand and sprinkled it on a staircase. But beyond that, the Marine should be completely mangled. I mean, I use a freaking Primarch-sized Eviscerator. Regardless, all of my brothers are striking some kind of sick superhero pose and I’m over here giving a forced smile to the camera like some kind of dog. -not cool.
What is your favorite Primarch model? Does Rogal deserve better? Let us know in the comments of our Facebook Hobby Group.
About the Author: Wesley Floyd
Wesley Floyd
Job Title: Staff Writer
Joined: 2018
Socials: @RealmbrushPainting
About Wesley Floyd: Wes has been in the Warhammer hobby since 2015 and joined the Spikey Bits writing team in 2018. He is known for his satirist takes on trending topics and imaginative yet amazingly affordable hobby solutions to painting Warhammer miniatures.
Imperial fanboy, tabletop fanatic, and the self-proclaimed King of Sprues. He knows for a fact that Mephiston red is the best-tasting paint and is the commission painting equivalent of a Wendy’s 4 for $4. If you like what he writes and want to contact him or have your tabletop minatures painted (to a mostly okayish standard), message him on Instagram.
