Even heroes and armies who have been cast aside due to poor rules need a place where they can feel welcome and vent there feelings to others, about 8th Ed.
The Fluff Rules Anonymous Support Group is about to start with Ahriman leading tonight’s meeting at a Denny’s. Donuts and coffee provided by Kharn.
FLUFF RULES ANONYMOUS SUPPORT GROUP
Ahriman – I’d like to thank everyone for coming to Fluff Rules Anonymous, the support group for armies that used to have cool rules that matched their lore and flavor but were thrown out when a new codex dropped. We’ve got a few things I’d like to cover tonight. First, I’d like to thank Kharn for bringing donuts and coffee.
Kharn – Burn.
Lucius – Really appreciate it, Kharn.
Ahriman – Right, so for our first order of business, a special announcement. It’s been a long, strange, and often really painful road. However, there’s finally a light at the end of the tunnel for some of us. I have to announce that the Thousand Sons and I will no longer be attending these support group meetings because GW loves us again and we got a bunch of totally awesome new plastic Rubric Marines. Even our primarch came back. Eventually, I hope, all the legions get the support that we got. Thanks for all the bad times and the good, guys.
Fabius – Very happy for you Ahriman. If you ever go back to flesh and blood troops again, give me a call.
Ahriman – Probably not gonna be a thing, Fabs. I appreciate the sentiment.
Kharn – Maim.
Typhus – Actually, I’d like to add onto that. My new models in the Dark Imperium starter box are awesome and my primarch looks like he’s coming back too. Sorry boys, it looks like I’m not sticking around either. I really appreciated this group over the years. It was the only place of love and support that compared to the eternal love of Papa Nurgle over these long hard centuries.
Honsou – Oh gimme a break, you’re all full of it. Of course the big 4 are gonna get rules, you’re easy mode. GW has a god template to model you with. The unaligned legions are gonna get left in the lurch for the next ten years just like the last ten years.
Kharn – Kill.
Sevatar – What he said.
Ahriman – Hey come on guys, there’s hope. We did get one nice fat legion book last edition there that gave us all rules. Wasn’t that nice?
Sevatar – More like spit in our eyes. We got the damn rug yanked out from under our feet. “Here’s some fluff rules finally. Oh, by the way, the next edition is in 4 months and the whole codex library is being wiped out.”
Kharn – Maim.
Ahriman – Now Honsou, Sevatar, I forgot the Alpha Legion guy’s name, sorry…
Alpharius – I’m Alpharius.
Ahriman – I know the gag, you’re all Alpharius. Anyway guys, there’s hope. If they can turn the corner on the big 4, they can still get the undivided. They’ve demonstrated that they can do it and they just did it late in the game.
Lysander – Hey, is this the support group for armies that lost their fluff rules?
Honsou – Who in the warp invited you, MC Hammer?
Sicarius – I’m here too. You’ve definitely heard of me. I’m Cato Sicarius, you know, THE Cato Sicarius.
Sevatar – Nice to meet you. I’m the guy that’s murdered every chump that’s ever had your progenoid glands.
Kharn – BURN.
Typhus – You jerks here to gloat about your fancy new Primaris Marines? How did you find us?
Lysander – You’re sitting in a Denny’s at 11 at night. The only other people here are a couple of goth kids playing Settlers of Catan. We figured this was the support group.
Honsou – So why do you need to be here, poster boy?
Sicarius – We wanted to join.
Sevatar – Ha.
Sicarius – What, are we not allowed just because we’re not traitors? Are we taking this back to the Heresy?
Ahriman – Well it’s just that, you know, loyalist space marines are the last army that needs this support group. What makes you guys think you aren’t loved?
Lysander – We all lost our chapter tactics in the edition rollover. The Iron Hands were hit especially hard. They’d be here, if they had any characters … or, you know, their primarch wasn’t dead.
Lucius – <Trying very hard not to laugh>
Sicarius – THOSE DAMN PRIMARIS MARINES TOOK OUR JERBS!
