Do you have what it takes to be the next director of FOMO for Games Workshop and get everyone to spend their last penny on Warhammer?
Disclaimer: Although this position sounds fun, unfortunately, this post and this job listing are pure satire.
In a shocking turn of events, Games Workshop, the renowned purveyor of all things Warhammer, has declared its quest for a new Director of FOMO – Fear Of Missing Out. This groundbreaking position, nestled snugly within the corporate bosom of the North American sales operation, promises to expand the frontiers of FOMO across the world of tabletop gaming.
Do you have what it takes to put the fear of the Emperor into people’s hearts? Can you make them buy every single release before they even hit shelves? Then GW wants you!
Games Workshop Hiring a Director of FOMO
Are you plagued by an insatiable desire to make people feel like they’re missing out on something crucial, even if it’s just the latest miniature Ork with a slightly different Toof? If you possess the unique ability to convince hobbyists that they simply must purchase every limited-edition figurine, book, or dice set released, then this is the job you’ve been preparing for all your life.
Reporting directly to senior FOMO Management, the Director of FOMO will spearhead the mission to make sure no potential sale is left behind. Their primary responsibility will be to assist the North American sales team as they relentlessly expand their business operations.
But that’s not all; they will also become deeply embroiled in Games Workshop’s massive, world-spanning campaign to ensure no tabletop remains unmined for potential customers.
In addition to boosting sales, the Director of FOMO will serve as the resident expert in ensuring that every customer feels like they’re one misspent paycheck away from a more fulfilling life. The successful candidate will work tirelessly to maximize revenue-generating opportunities, employing psychological warfare tactics to guarantee that no wallet remains closed.
But that’s not all! They’ll also need to ensure the company’s financial, technical, and legal obligations are met!
The Director of FOMO may also be required to take their show on the road, spreading the gospel of the latest Warhammer trends to their global counterparts. After all, FOMO is a universal language that transcends borders, and the miniature space marines must march on.
In a world where FOMO reigns supreme, Games Workshop’s decision to create the Director of FOMO position feels like the logical next step in their quest to conquer every last ounce of disposable income in the name of tabletop gaming.
So, if you’ve ever felt like you could convince a squirrel to purchase a tiny, custom-made set of Warhammer armor, or if you’re skilled at making people question their life choices for not owning every last Games Workshop product, then this is the job for you.
After all, FOMO is a game worth playing, and Games Workshop is leading the charge.
How to Apply
If you wish to apply you must send us a letter or a video telling us why you want this job. We select candidates for interview based on what they tell us in their letter or video.
This is a great opportunity for you to let us know that you understand what we are looking for. Please include an up-to-date CV to support your application.
Working at GW
At Games Workshop we are looking for people who will do their best to understand the needs of the company and to put those needs first when they are at work.
Because of this we believe that what you are like, hence the attitude you show to work and the way you choose to behave is even more important than your skills or experience.
Will you be applying for this ficticius position of Director of FOMO at Games Workshop? Do you think you could get people to buy even more?
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About the Author: Travis Pasch
Travis Pasch
Job Title: Head Writer & Editor
Socials: @paschbass
About Travis Pasch: Travis has been a Warhammer 40k hobbyist since the 1990s, playing the game since Third Edition. Through extensive traveling, he’s seen a lot of the miniatures hobby from across the world, giving him a unique perspective on the latest gaming topics and trends.
Travis’s brother even owns a commission painting studio, where he’s picked up a lot of good advice and techniques for painting Warhammer and tabletop miniatures over the years, as well. Travis joined the Spikey Bits team in 2019 and has been the lead writer since 2020.
Currently, he’s working on converting all his 40k Adeptus Mechanicus models and becoming a true tech enjoyer, complete with both sad and happy robot noises!
