Due to extreme budget cuts, Space Marines have been forced to use action figures for training instead of their normal live-fire exercises.
Because prices keep skyrocketing from their arms dealer James Werkshop, the Space Marines have had to scale back their expenses to keep supplying the frontlines with Primaris. Here’s how they’re coping with the new changes.
Space Marines Use Action Figures To Train Due to Budget Cuts
Credit: Alex Carros on Spikey Bits Hobbies
Brother Gabe: Ha! I’ve perfectly executed the Imperial Suplex and left your torso with three bolter holes.
Brother Carlyle: Hey, no fair. You only won because you had imperial credits for a Bandai. Pay to win, loser.
Brother Gabe: You’re just jealous because the Chaplain loves me more than you.
Brother Carlyle: You know what… I’m gonna say it…
Brother Gabe: …
Brother Carlyle: I don’t care that you broke your elbow.
Brother Conan: Hey guys check out this sick figure. He doesn’t even need armo-
Brother Gabe: GOOOOOSHHHHH! One hit TKO BABY.
Brother Conan: Dude no fair. Why do you think you get to wreck us just because you’ve got a Bandai.
Brother Gabe: Because I’m going to be your new Chapter Master one day an-
Brother Gabe: Oh holy Emperor’s dusty old abs. What IS THAT THING?
Brother Anulos: Oh… oh this? My parents sent it from home. All the Bandai Marines were bought up already…
Brother Gabe: HAHAHA It looks like you wrapped tin foil around a turd and microwaved it for ten minutes.
Brother Gabe: Ever heard of Nuln Oil, scrub?
Brother Gabe: Is that a force sword or a nerf bat?
*Desk slam*
Brother Gabe: Nani!?
Chapter Master Chad: Heh. Hope you don’t mind if I drop in and get some training done nerds. Just copped this sweet piece off a dead Tau on my last patrol.
What do you think about all the new 40k action figures out there? How would you rank them best to worst? Are Gundam figures still the reigning champ?
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About the Author: Wesley Floyd
Wesley Floyd
Job Title: Staff Writer
Joined: 2018
Socials: @RealmbrushPainting
About Wesley Floyd: Wes has been in the Warhammer hobby since 2015 and joined the Spikey Bits writing team in 2018. He is known for his satirist takes on trending topics and imaginative yet amazingly affordable hobby solutions to painting Warhammer miniatures.
Imperial fanboy, tabletop fanatic, and the self-proclaimed King of Sprues. He knows for a fact that Mephiston red is the best-tasting paint and is the commission painting equivalent of a Wendy’s 4 for $4. If you like what he writes and want to contact him or have your tabletop minatures painted (to a mostly okayish standard), message him on Instagram.
