Unpopular opinion, Theoryhammer could theoretically be suspicious advice from the manufacturer of Warhammer 40k, Games Workshop.
Jstove here, and I don’t trust banks, the government, major corporations, or makers of tiny plastic men, and I’ll tell you why.
40k Theoryhammer is Theoretically Suspicious Advice
On August 25th, the year of our lord “Green iz Best” Grimgor Ironhide, 2018, Games Workshop announced on their community page that they would be starting a new serial podcast called Theoryhammer, a show about list building tips for matched play in 40k and AOS.
Here’s why I have doubts.
Games Workshop Corporate loves competitive tournaments, but Games Workshop ground floor hates competition.
At the top of the pay scale, GW loves the competitive scene for all the events they run, the hype they generate, and most importantly, the models that they buy. But down at the local GW store, 9 out of 10 redshirts (That’s an old meme for GW veterans, the employees used to wear red shirts- They’re all blue and black now) will tell you that it’s a family friendly community and not to turn up the gas in their shop.
From the perspective of a GW store manager, it’s better for them to run a noob-friendly community that sells a lot of starter boxes and big-ticket kits to walk-in customers. If someone comes in and offers solid list building advice for succeeding in the game, the redshirts usually wince. They don’t want you coming and telling their community what’s good and what’s bad, what works and what doesn’t, and ultimately, what you should buy and what you shouldn’t buy.
GW Stores Don’t Like Competitive Opinions
Most GW stores won’t foster a competitive community, even though it’s competitive players who are the most gung-ho about keeping up with the releases and the meta. You’re not going to see a lot of the new blood putting down the credit card for a Castellan Knight the day it comes out. But the competitive Imperial Soup eaters are there in force.
To really learn how to play 40k at the next level, you have to roll into an indy shop that promotes a high-sportsmanship and a competitive community like Frontline Games, Next-Gen Games, or Beats Lab Gaming.
The biggest problem with competitive 40k is that 90% of the models and builds in the GW catalog are garbage. Can you trust a company podcast that won’t tell you what’s good or bad?
Finding Competitive Units
The heart of competitive list building is cost-effectiveness and picking units that do their job. To be a competitive unit, the unit must do its job at a reasonable price. It should be tough as hell, hold the line, or it should kill everything it looks at. It should do its job for a points cost that doesn’t break the bank. You can bet your 2,000 points that if your opponent can find a model that overperforms for its cost, he’s going to bring as many as he can.
We know for example, that Chaos Space Marines are garbage, so we use Cultists. We also know that generally, most Marine models won’t do the job as cheap as a scout will. On top of that, the easiest command points in the game come from a Guard Battalion.
We also know that the most competitive lists in the scene right now are usually soup lists. Chaos and Imps have the most gas with Ynnari behind them. Most of the Xenos are out in the cold because they don’t have friends. When we start talking about adding Knights, only Chaos and Imps get those.
When we talk about getting strong list building advice, the first thing out of your mouth is probably going to be “from a competitive standpoint, at least half the models in the game are unplayable and some entire armies might be competitively unplayable.”
Is it Safe to Trust Them?
This brings us to the most important point-
Can you trust list building advice from people that are ON PAYROLL?
- Don’t buy a cake from a skinny baker.
- I wouldn’t get tattooed by a dude with no ink.
- Don’t buy a steak from a vegetarian butcher.
- I wouldn’t take exercise advice from a fat person.
- I wouldn’t take car advice from a car salesman.
- Or life advice from someone in a cult.
So do you think you should be taking list building advice from someone who is a company, man? Because they probably won’t straight up tell you when a unit is bad or doesn’t do its job. They have an incentive to sell you a line.
Now if you’ve been paying attention, and you’ve heard the Long War Podcast episode 162, you’ll know that this isn’t GW’s first rodeo with putting community members on the payroll to make them company men.
Certain gaming sites have gotten the preferential treatment nod from GW to get fancy new toys first. Those sites then had suspiciously lacking coverage on the Forge World price hike topic (see below).
Who do you trust?
Editor’s Note: While we have no lack of confidence in the abilities of the Theoryhammer hosts Frankie and Geoff, we would remiss in pointing out that a previous host of WHTV Rob Symes left Games Workshop last year after the NOVA Open to start his new brand The Honest Wargamer.
Many sources cited “irreconcilable differences” caused the split, which to some, are warning signs that perhaps things are not as peachy between management and WHTV hosts as they would have us believe.
Rob’s hosting partner Eddie Eccles has moved onward and upward, and is now reportedly in charge of Warhammer Community, and is also the “handler” for many of their new artists, writers and hosts.
Just in case anyone from GW is reading, I’d also love to be silenced by selling out. Just let me know and I’ll give you the address where you can send the Warlord Titan.
But until that titan shows up on my porch, I’ll ask the Joker, “who do you trust?”
