Many blessings upon you, gue’la. I like you, you like me. Yes?
It is I am return, fearless and virile water caste diplomat of mighty Tau Empires, to dispensing the seasonal greetings from my peoples to you.
Honorable and Noble comrade ethereal Aun’va tells to me that in the winter season is time of great festival of capitalism and consumerism for primitive tribes of hairy gue’la men, and that you will spend many monies on new toys and gifts for crazy imperial religion of Emperor Santa Claus who is come down chimney from Golden Throne for 8 nights to light oil in candle of dreidel for Kwanza.
This many holiday in gue’la confuse me, for I am only humble servant of one true religion of Tau Communism, under great leader Ethereal Lenin’va.
However, in honor of peace and diplomacy and great invitation for you gue’la to join mighty empires of Tau people, we are offering you many deals on bargain basement eastern Taupean weapons technology on gue’la websites spikeybits ( I think he means our holiday sale? -MBG) from tau sympathizer comrade Rob “smells like Vodka” Baer.
Take advantage of superior tau technology at prices so communist, you have not seen them since fall of Berlin wall!
Enjoy party-authorized sales of great tau war machines like brave and undefeatable fire warrior wielding mighty kalashnikov pulse rifle, and brave patriot comrade kroots with moist nugget rifle.
Ha! That is silly tau joke I make. You like? In communist Tau empire, we say kroot rifle is moist nugget. Is crazy backwards eastern bloc weapons joke you must be nutty for guns to understands.
Oh, where was I?
YES. Also available for sale is party favorite and winning of many games warhamster 40 ounces, mighty tau RIPPING TIDES GUNDAM. You will need 5 of these and Farsights Enclave book to make best armies of making many opponent weep tears of pain and rage from great spamming of gundam. You buy now at good discount from spiking bits.
With additional allies book and 5 gundams, you will be great patriot to tau empire and envy of peers, and desired by many gue’la females.
Unfortunately, despite infinite patience and resources of great Tau empire, sale only last for limited time. You must join Tau empire and buy many Rippings Tides and brave comrade fire warriors before end of week, or we will bury you.
That’s it guys, i’m outta here, BUT checkout my other fun and exciting articles by clicking this link right HERE. -Jstove
