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GW Getting Coal for Christmas Because of Their Battleforces

christmas-battleforces-40k-2020Is GW getting coal for Christmas this year, well Jstove is back with his take on the value of their new Christmas Battleforces!

Jstove here, back momentarily from my Covid-related hiatus from writing dumb articles about how Dark Angels are traitors (they are) and how they will continue to be traitors as long as Dark Angels players keep taking that bait (They always do, read the Facebook comments.)

GW Getting Coal for Christmas Because of  Their Battleforces

Today, I’m looking at the 6 new 40k Christmas boxes, and judging them worthy of your money. Here’s the short version for those of you reading on your phones that don’t want to scroll down- I’m not impressed.

Let’s start with the junk and then hopefully move on to the winners… If there are any. (If you want to see the value of each box, check it out here).    Editor’s note: Don’t forget most retailers were allocated to 1 per battleforce for 2020, and these bundles sold out on GW’s site here in the States in under 10 minutes.

Space Marine Interdiction Force: The Army That Played Itself

Space Marines – Interdiction Force

I’m not a fan of this box. Here are the reasons why:

1) Space Marines have a love/hate relationship with walkers. Everyone loves Dreadnoughts and thinks they’re cool, and the Aliens Powerloader dread is definitely cool, but is it good? I actually don’t know. I haven’t played 40k since Covid, so I haven’t seen it in 9th. But I can tell you one thing already… It’s not a leviathan. If your Dreadnought isn’t made of resin, it probably ain’t that great.

2) GW played themselves with the starter box. Nothing in this box is better or more useful than the stuff you find in the starter boxes. The starter boxes are Marine saturated. Between Dark Imperium, Shadowspear, and “9th ed starter box full of melta Primaris” (The official name of that box, btw) there’s nothing in this box that I don’t already have or want. Granted, this isn’t really a Primaris specific problem. This is generally a problem for Space Marines, as they are the poster-boys and always saturated in the market. You’re always going to have a hard time finding value in Marine boxes because Marines are always going to have tons of action in the super value starter boxes.

3) I mentioned the dreadnought, but the other stuff in the box makes me yawn. On the one hand, it’s always good to have transports, so good on GW for shoving the floating rhino in there. But I’m not sold on the bread and butter Marines. First of all, I think Phobos Captain with sniper bolter is a chump. A Marine character without a power weapon? Where’s the fun in that? I want my genetic superman space hero to hit aliens with Powerfist haymakers, not hide in the back and hand out buffs and bullets. That’s weak.

The other thing that’s weak is the lack of spicy power armor. No Plasma Eliminators? No Melta Eradicators? Not even the Primaris centurion wannabes? They gave us Reivers and Infiltrators, which you should already be up to your ears in from starter boxes… And what Emperor loving Blood Angel player even likes reivers? They don’t have power weapons or jump packs. Unless something changed that I didn’t know about (which is admittedly likely given the new codex and new edition) I’m a hard pass on Reivers.

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Necron Eradication Legion of What the Hell is Going on with this Army?

Necrons – Eradication LegionAnother pass from me. Here’s why.

The Necron identity crisis. These guys have changed so radically over the past few years I don’t even have any idea what any of these models do anymore. GW can’t decide what they want to do with the Crons, and they just hit the reset button again on the army with a whole new wave of models… And surprise, none of the hot new units you want to try out are in this box. No Void dragon, no tripod, just a bunch of stuff you already owned if you’ve been a Necron player for more than 6 months. Now I will say this- IF there’s one reason to buy this box, it’s the lack of those awful green plastic rods.

Necrons, at least in 2020, have Space Marine Syndrome, meaning that there’s almost no point in buying anything for them that isn’t the starter box because they have so much stuff in the starter box. This Christmas box is basically just a blatant excuse for GW to clear out the backlog.

Astra Miliwhatnow Bastion Platoon of Disappointment

Astra Militarum – Bastion PlatoonThe Astra Militarum continues its time-honored tradition of releasing absolutely garbage army boxes. It just wouldn’t be the guard if the Administratum didn’t bend over AM players.

I’m just gonna come out and say it. GW made one good AM army box once, and it was a decade ago, the first time they released Apocalypse. The box I’m talking about is of course the mythical, beautiful, unicorn of army boxes- 10 LEMAN RUSSES IN A BOX. FULL STOP. That was the best thing ever. You wanna play Apocalypse? You just want to have all the Russes you ever wanted or never wanted? Do you even care if Leman Russes are even good in the edition you’re playing? Doesn’t matter, here are 10 freaking tanks. That’s just badass.

This is more like a continuation of 1, but the way that the Guard is structured makes it nearly impossible for GW to create any kind of army box for them that would actually be valuable because Guard is the army where you need 12 of everything to play it. So a handful of guys, a command squad, 1 Sentinel (Why? Seriously, at least throw a whole 3 model squad in…) and a Chimera and a Hydra? This is just a grab bag. This box is like going to a birthday party as a kid and realizing what a ripoff goody bags are. You got like 3 pieces of stale candy and a rubber lizard from a gumball machine, and maybe some Pokemon cards.

Meanwhile, your friend who’s birthday it was got a $50 LEGO set that you really wanted, that your mom made you pick out for him. Your mom made you play yourself for a couple of year old jolly ranchers and a slice of cake and now you have to watch your buddy build the LEGOs you wanted. That’s what being a Guard player on Christmas is like.

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CSM Decimation Warband- It’s Not Crap!

Chaos Space Marines – Decimation WarbandThis post is about to get boring because I actually like this box.

This is the first time I’ve seen an army box where I actually like and want all the models in it. First of all, I’m not stoked on Forgefiends, but I LOVE Maulerfiends, so thank god that’s a dual kit. That’s a win in my book. The Blackstone Fortress Chaos Lord with a thunder hammer? That’s another easy win, what a great model. Now here’s where things get a little crazy- Havocs, yes. Do I wish they came with more than 1 minigun in the box? Of course, I do, but loyalist players take note- These are the kind of marines we want to see in army boxes, the kind that has BIG GUNS! What marine player of any flavor isn’t drowning in bolters?

Here’s another winner- Terminators. Unlike loyalist Terminators, which have a colorful history of being useful or useless depending on their chapter, loadout, or how bad Termies are in the meta, Chaos Terminators are at least consistent, because you can always just make a plasmacide squad. Even when Terminators are bad, Chaos Terminators are at least consistently useful if you have no better options. The final win for this box is vanilla Chaos Marines… Normally, we would laugh at these chumps, but the Red Corsairs made vanilla Chaos Marines a real option in the last codex. Hopefully, they will continue to do so in the 9th ed codex, whenever that happens. Fingers crossed.

It’s not a warehouse purge the way the Necron box is. The biggest benefit of this box is that in addition to actually wanting everything in it, the Forgefiend is the only old sculpt. The Chaos Marines, Terminators, and Havocs are all the updated new sculpts, so even if you don’t have a good reason to actually want everything in this box, you at least get style, if not substance. Would I like it better if the Forgefiend was a D-Lord on his giant murder robot? Sure, who wouldn’t? But as it stands, I’ll take what’s on offer.

Tau Empire- Doesn’t Suckpulse Brigade

T'au Empire – Starpulse CadreAs much as it hurts my cold black chaos worshiping heart to admit anything positive about the fish face commies, I’ll admit this box is pretty good.

I don’t know anything about the Piranha other than that it’s a meme unit, and if there’s a universe where it is good, you definitely want more than 1 of it. Also, as much as everyone loves cool robots, Crisis suits are pretty tragic. Hopefully, 9th ed will bring them back.

Now let’s talk about the winners- Everything else in this box is good. Broadsides and Crisis commanders? All-day, no complaints. Fire Warriors, Pathfinders, and Drones? Even more. Here’s the difference between Tau and Space Marines… Unlike marine armies, you actually always want more of Tau’s staple units. Fire Warrior gun lines are a real thing, Pathfinders are essential to how the army synergies with itself, and drones are useful. Tau core units are for the most part ‘recession-proof.’ They are important enough in the army that throwing them in a value box is actually a good move because even when you already have them, more wouldn’t hurt. Good for the Tau, glad to see communism is working for them. Shame about the Crisis Suits though…

 

Tyranid Warehouse Swarm- Why the Hell are Gargoyles Still a Thing?

Tyranids – Brood SwarmIt wouldn’t be Christmas without Nids getting a box of the most irritating jump infantry unit in the game.

I hate Gargoyles. I am a Tyranid player, and I am willing to accept that with certain builds and stratagems, Gargoyles are actually good and have had some shining moments. But the thought of all those little flimsy plastic wings and flight stands drives me crazy. I will never be a fan of Gargoyles because they are some of the most irritating and worst models to own in the hobby. It’s like having 40 tiny Heldrakes.

I don’t care if the top 8 tables at the LVO next year are all Gargoyle spam Tyranid armies, I’m still never throwing any of those little bastards in a case and taking them to a game. No amount of pain is worth that win. Apparently, this is an opinion that the entire hivemind shares, because these damn Gargoyles keep showing up in army boxes every time GW makes one. They just can’t get rid of these little flying monkeys. Meanwhile, Shrikes finally got deleted in the last Forgeworld purge. There’s no justice in the world for Tyranid players.

The Good in the Box

Everything else in the box I’m stoked on. Unlike Guard and Marines, Tyranids don’t have an identity crisis when it comes to infantry- Every Tyranid infantry model is good for something in some build. Would I have picked Genestealers? I personally would have preferred Termagants but Genestealers aren’t bad and there’s nothing to complain about here. The giant mouth vomit bug? I’m not sold on him, but thankfully he’s a dual kit to make a giant gun bug, and the giant gun bug is cool, so that’s a save. The Hive Tyrant, depending on how good or bad monstrous creatures are in this edition, is either a good thing or a necessary evil. That’s just part of the Tyranid life cycle.

The unit that really won this box though is the Hive/Rant guard. These guys went from being some kind of weird joke unit when they came out to swiftly becoming the heart of a Tyranid shooting phase. Hive guard is amazing and Tyranid players will fight people in the parking lot just to get them. The fact that they went into a Christmas box is a major win for Tyranid lovers, who have spent the last 5 years burning entire gas tanks driving to every hobby store in their state trying to find them on the shelf before another Tyranid player swooped them all up.

What box did you think came out on top? Are there any units you wished were in these?

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About the Author: Travis Pasch