Hot on the heels of a yet another article you’ve already read on BoLS, it’s the Jstove to tell you about why everything you read on the internet about 40k is bunk, and why you need to quit the game and start playing warmahordes.
No but seriously, don’t quit 40k and play Warmahordes. It’s probably one of the best rule sets in miniature gaming today, but its bloated with alpha strike builds and anyone who tells you its cheaper than 40k is lying.
Have you seen those freaking colossals? They’re like a hundred bucks out of the box, that’s some GW level plastic crack right there.
But I’m not here to talk mess on Privateer Press. I think they have great products and their success has a direct correlation to our British Overlord’s seeming lack of direction in a market they used to monopolize. (well the fact Matt Wilson made it a tabletop adaptation of the game he used to illustrate, Magic the Gathering, didn’t hurt their success either) -MBG
What I am here to say is this- It’s time for a Tea Party! And not the kind of political tea party that wants to elect Sarah Palin, I mean a real old fashioned tea party, where we dress up as Indians, raid Boston harbor, and throw that East India garbage in the water where it belongs.
It’s time for AMERICAHAMMER!??
Let me put it to you like this- 7th edition is awesome. It’s a phenomenal game. Lots of stuff got better, the psychic phase is amazing, vehicles are no longer made of tinfoil and you actually need real anti-tank weapons to blow them up, troops went from ‘those obligatory two dump slots’ to ‘holy crap I actually need these guys!’
Flying monsters can no longer get eyeball blinded into a nosedive by tau with laser pointers, and they can’t just skip into combat after landing either… All in all, the boys in Nottingham did a pretty great job. I’m pretty proud of them to be honest, and normally I’m a pretty sarcastic critic of their work. I think they really pulled this one out.
Then Tzeentch got involved, and everything went to crap. Not even one weekend out of the box and you’re all throwing the baby out with the bathwater over this whole infinite tide of demons that drops a 1,000 points worth of Doom 2 and Hellraiser on the table every turrn.
Which is actually pretty freaking hilarious, considering ‘infinite murder-tide of screeching Satan army’ is how that army works in the fluff. Congratulations Chaos fluff bunnies, you have arrived!
The point is, now is not the time to mince on about fluff bunnies and WAACtards. Now is the time for the American competitive player to fix the game, America style. Because fixing things that belong to other countries even when they don’t ask us to is what America does.
Some of you are going to cringe and complain- It’s the internet. That’s normal. Cringing and complaining is what you’re supposed to do here. But its the competitive player who puts the effort into making the game playable and making sure junk like 40 dice psychic armies don’t come to a table near you and bad touch your deployment zone.
We have the tools. We have the technology. Between Adepticon, Bay Area Open, Forge the Narrative, and 5,000 points of Goat Marines or whatever, we can get all the guys who run the biggest 40k shows in the country together and have them sit down a build a unified rules packet that will put all the crybabies to bed, and it will be called AMERICAHAMMER 1776.
Because in the Grim Darkness of the Far Future, GW doesn’t make a competitive, balanced game, and its our job as a community to step into the breech and do it ourselves.
So this saturday, instead of staying home and crying on Warseer or Dakka Dakka about how a herald of Tzeentch did something to your butt that you thought only Slaanesh would try, write to your neighborhood friendly national level TO, and tell him that you want him to write a Declaration of Independence that you can take into a LGS and play a decent game of 40k with.
Or you know, sit around and complain and threaten to leave the hobby for Malifaux or Dystopian Wars or whatever, they’re both pretty cool. Just give me your stuff if you leave.
And if Canada beats us to it we’ll have to call it CANADAHAMMER, and I can’t live with that.
Checkout what else I have to say HERE!
A Very Special Editor’s Note: “No Preservatives Added” (or taken away) 7th Edition 40k seems to be one of the best rules sets of the game out there thus far, so please be careful before you add or subtract things to it.
We never really even got a chance to play 6th before it was bastardized to be “balanced”, and two years later, Games Workshop may have just bailed us out of our own 6th Edition mistakes with 7th Edition.
The morale of the story may just be, that Games Workshop DOES know best when it comes to rules as of late, and unless we all want 8th Edition in 2016, lets give 7th a chance, eh? -MBG
