Here’s what happened when Guilliman got bored and began to see what the new Rubicon Primaris was all about. Time for another 40k ha-ha post!
The Rubicon Primaris is becoming more and more popular among the Astartes and Guilliman wanted to get a closer look at it. While he was waiting for Yvraine to reply to a risky “you up?” text, he walked down to the machine.
Roboute Finds Out the Rubicon Primaris Works on Other Things Too
Guilliman: *walking in his codex: Astartes-approved bedroom slippers down to the Rubicon Primaris that just so happen to make the Spongebob squeak with each step*
Tech-Priest: My lord, what are you doing up at this hour? You have to be well-rested for your daily overrated praise from Games Workshop tomorrow!
Guilliman: Run along, I have already had three naps today and ate all of my vegetables at dinner. I will be fine.
Tech-Priest: …As you wish, my lord.
Guilliman: *creeps into the Rubican Primaris chamber and locks the door behind him*
Guilliman: * marveling in Cawl’s invention* So this is what’s strengthening my Imperium back to its former glory! I always knew Cawl had a purpose here…
Guilliman: *Realizing his bedroom slippers look extremely tiny and wants to impress Yvraine when she comes over* I wonder what else this thing can do…
Rubicon Primaris: BEEP BOOP. PROCESSING ORDER. ZZZZAAAAPPPPPP!
Guilliman: AW SWEET! Now Yvraine won’t have any excuses this time! My feet look so big in these, she won’t be able to resist wanting to see the size of my…
Tech-Priest: MY LORD, ARE YOU PLAYING IN THE RUBICON PRIMARIS CHAMBER.
Guilliman:…
Tech-Priest: We can see you on camera. OPEN. THE. DOOR.
Guilliman: Can I get a drink first?
Tech-Priest: *sigh* sure. But unlock the door first so I can come in.
Guilliman: *unlocks the door and takes a soda cup sitting on the table*
Rubicon Primaris: BEEP BOOP PROCESSING ORDER. ZZZZAAAAPPPPPP!
Guilliman returning to his bedchamber with his Primaris sized drink…
What do you think about the Rubicon Primaris? Will the Imperium start experimenting with other things to Primarisify? Let us know in the comments of our Facebook Hobby Group, and sign up to get your free hobby updates newsletter each morning as well!
About the Author: Wesley Floyd
Wesley Floyd
Job Title: Staff Writer
Joined: 2018
Socials: @RealmbrushPainting
About Wesley Floyd: Wes has been in the Warhammer hobby since 2015 and joined the Spikey Bits writing team in 2018. He is known for his satirist takes on trending topics and imaginative yet amazingly affordable hobby solutions to painting Warhammer miniatures.
Imperial fanboy, tabletop fanatic, and the self-proclaimed King of Sprues. He knows for a fact that Mephiston red is the best-tasting paint and is the commission painting equivalent of a Wendy’s 4 for $4. If you like what he writes and want to contact him or have your tabletop minatures painted (to a mostly okayish standard), message him on Instagram.
