GW’s new Warhammer product releases turn into a reaping, with stores begging for boxes, and players hope their FLGS survives the allocation wars.
In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only… allocations. Every Games Workshop release isn’t so much a launch as it is a reaping.
Somewhere, a store owner stares at their inbox, praying to the Emperor that this time they’ll get more than four boxes (the actual allocation for the Dead Silence KT box) and a promotional poster from 2019.
Meanwhile, players hover over preorder pages like starving tributes, each Saturday refreshing until the server crashes and their dreams die in the checkout cart.
The next product drop is coming, and only the strongest FLGS will survive the reaping. May the allocations be ever in your favor.
40k, The Reaping: Allocation Announcements
Welcome to the Warhammer Hunger Games, where local stores fight for survival and scalpers circle like carrion servitors.
The Capitol, better known as GW’s webstore, honestly, doesn’t fare much better. Out of stock banners hang over every new release in minutes. Every allocation email might as well come with a roll of D6: on a 1, you get nothing; on a 6, congratulations, you get to keep your GW stock for another week.
Every week, the skies darken, and the sacred GW email arrives. It’s a moment of tension, hope, and caffeine. “Your allocation for the new 40k launch has been confirmed,” it reads, followed by a number so small it might as well be a cruel joke (numbers as low as two are not uncommon, just look at the Drukhari release).
The shopkeepers of the Imperium gather, clutching their preorder lists. “Two boxes?” whispers one, eyes wide. “I ordered twenty.” A silence falls, broken only by the clicking of keyboards and the distant sound of someone canceling customer preorders like fallen tributes.
Some stores form alliances, trading extra Kill Teams for a single precious Space Marine Combat Patrol. Others go rogue, contacting shadowy online distributors known only as “the eBay capitalists,” who promise to deliver, but for a price.
The Arena: Launch Day Chaos
Launch day is a spectacle. Lines form before dawn, customers clutching coffee and false hope. The store owner stands behind the counter like a Games Master, smiling weakly. “Sorry folks, we only got two copies,” they say, as the crowd collectively realizes they’ve become background extras in a hobby-themed dystopia.
But, honestly, the lines never even form. Because most stores sell out of pre-orders and never have anything to put on the shelves.
Those who manage to snag a copy walk out triumphant, lifting their box to the heavens as angels (or servo-skulls) sing. The rest shuffle away to their cars, muttering about scalpers, bots, and the mysterious “next wave” that never seems to materialize.
The Capitol: Customers Can’t Catch a Break
Meanwhile, in the shining spires of the Capitol, known to mortals as “Games Workshop webstore,” a place where you would expect the shelves to flow with products. But instead, “Limit one per customer,” they decree, which lasts about as long as a Guardsman in melee. The great machine hums, and in minutes, everything is out of stock.
Some whisper that certain stores receive special treatment, blessed by the Emperor Himself. Others suspect dark pacts, sealed in blood, shipping manifests, and promises of Instagram promo posts.
Whatever the truth, one thing is certain: those who control the allocation control the hobby.
The Aftermath: A Call for Unity (and Restocks)
When the dust settles and the limited stock sells out in minutes, the survivors gather in digital taverns, Facebook groups, Reddit threads, and Discord servers to tell their tales. “I got one box!” boasts a victor. “I got none,” sighs another.
And so it goes, until the next reaping. Another release, another battle. The faithful will line up once again next week, wallets in hand, chanting their war cry:
“May the Warhammer allocations be ever in our favor.”
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