Time to have a little fun guys, checkout this list of Wargaming Stereotypes.
Howdy everyone, my name is Severus the Uncompromising. Today I wanted to bring you something a little off the beaten trail: war gamer stereotypes. We have all seen them, and perhaps have even been a few of these examples ourselves.
WARNING: The following is for comedic purposes only. Do not take what I say personally. I am sure I could fit into several of these stereotypes myself. Just try to have fun guys.
The Dice Worshipper: This gamer is defined by his obsession with the Dice Gods. He is constantly defined by his odd rituals. Shaming of dice that roll poorly, not rolling dice that have done well since they have “used up all there sixes”, never letting his opponent touch his dice, etc. The extreme cases will make examples of chronically poor doing dice by sacrificing them to the gods. This often involves a microwave. Never tell this man the odds. The Dice Gods don’t care about the odds.
The Accesorizer: This gamer can be spotted by his highly coordinated army and accessories. It’s not enough to have an army consistently painted with a uniform color scheme. He has to have matching dice, matching templates, matching objective markers, matching foam, matching shirt, and we really don’t want to know what else he is wearing to match his army. Nothing makes the Accesorizer happier than starting that new army and beginning the quest to find all the matching equipment he will need to play it. God only knows where he finds those ork print boxer shorts.
The Net Lister: His name says it all. His mode of operation is to search the depths of the internet looking for the strongest list. Then, after he assembles said list, off to the local game store he goes. There is a sub species of this gamer known as the Closet Net Lister. They will never admit that their list comes from the net. They always claim to have been running it for a while. What’s that? You have been running this lictor spam list for like 6 months? Odd I swear I just saw that list pop up somewhere…
The Naive Chaos Player: This is a relatively new player. They usually got into the game when they and a friend split the Dark Vengeance set. Having only ever played against the Dark Angels, he felt like his codex was good and began expanding his collection. Slowly this gamer emerged out into the wild of the wider gaming community. He happily agreed to a pick up game with the local eldar player. Shortly there after, he was seen crying in a corner. Be kind to this rare specimen when you see him. There was a day when we all felt like that.
The Name Dropper: This is a guy that loves to throw out “famous” hobby names. He often goes to larger events to meet these people. Usually their stories remain unconfirmed. Examples include, “Yeah, I played Reese Robbins at Nova and totally could have kicked his butt, but I went easy on him. You know, out of respect”, or the ever popular “I was talking to Dan Abnett once…” It’s like the more names he can force into your conversation, the more you will be impressed. Yeah, sure. I bet you totally helped Matt Ward with some ideas for the previous Grey Knight book.
The Nay Smith: This guy always thinks he is going to lose. No matter the match up. Everything terrifies him. Regardless of how the game is going, he will constantly tell you that he thinks he’s going to lose it. It’s even more frustrating when he doesn’t. Regardless of how you try to point out the happenings of the game, he still thinks you’re beating him. Yeah, I highly doubt that my unit of grots is going to march over and take the relic from your unit of terminators. Pretty sure you got this one in the bag bro.
That about wraps it up for this one guys. Hope you had a laugh or two. Maybe you recognized a description that sounds a little too familiar. Until next time this is Severus saying have a good one and take it easy.
About the Author: Seth Oster
