He’s the man you only want to hang out with if other people are coming along! It’s Rogal Dorn! The most interesting boring Primarch of them all.
If you like playing Space Marines, and the color yellow, you probably play Imperial Fists. Don’t even try to bring up the Lamentors as a good yellow Chapter. They’re so cursed even their Primarch doesn’t want anything to do with them, so why should you? Now with that out of the way, here’s the low-down on the Primarch that has the same charismatic energy as Bella from Twilight.
Rogal Dorn: The Most Interesting Boring Primarch Of Them All
Let’s talk about his model first. If this is the only Primarch model you ever saw, you’d think he looks great. But once you see the other Primarch models, you’ll realize he’s the most static and depressing one of the bunch. Exactly like his personality in the lore.
No, but for real. We just saw the Lion El’Jonson model revealed and he’s got the same wargear as Rogal but looks way cooler.
What Does the Lore Say About Him?
Rogal has the physical appearance of the world’s most interesting man. But the second he opens his mouth you realize his personality is more boring than watching paint dry.
Let’s look at his wargear. He uses a weapon called Storm’s Teeth which he used on his home planet before he even knew he was a Primarch. The Emperor offered to give him some better gear, but hey. No matter what you give a caveman, he’s still going to use it as a club, right? He ended up taking the gift made from Custode technology, his bolter, The Voice of Terra. Too bad that on the tabletop its got about as much of a punch as a NERF gun. Seriously, lol.
Now that we got the first wave of disappointment out of the way… We can talk about what he’s actually good at.
He Got In a Fight With His Brother For Being Good At His Job
He is the Master of Defense, which we’ve got to say, did come in clutch at the latter half of the Horus Heresy. But it all started when he had a feud with his brother Perturabo (who was the greatest at siege warfare). It essentially escalated into such big feels badsies that Perturabo joined Chaos to prove to everyone that he was better at his job than Rogal was at his. Anyone else would’ve just defended themselves against the fit Perturabo was throwing. not our boy Rogal! He has the social skills of a hard-boiled egg, so it kind of all just went in one ear and right out the other.
Things REALLY escalated to the point where the Emperor told Rogal that he was in charge of making sure Chaos didn’t clean everyone’s colons out. It was at this point when Rogal realized that all the time he spent playing with Mega Bloks was about to pay off. He was called into Terra’s palace and got to work. Every corner of the Palace was enough of a death trap that a normal Astartes had to watch where he stepped. We’re talking murder servitors in the cleaning closets, Grenades taped to light fixtures and explosions waiting around every corner. It was fortified, to say the least.
Well, Chaos came knocking, and eventually, Dorn’s defenses proved to be too strong and they retreated. Only after the Emperor killed Horus of course.
The Emperor Probably Wouldn’t Have Been Wounded Had Dorn Been There
Now that’s a bold statement, but hear us out. He teleported with Sanguinius and the Emperor onto Horus’ flagship. But for whatever reason, he was teleported to the other end of the ship and was separated from his comrades. Probably because he fat-fingered his teleporter device. It was at this moment where the one thing he actually did well was about to be completely shut down. Because Rogal had been sheltered inside the Imperial Palace, he didn’t really know what he was looking at on the ship.
See, Rogal had never seen a Daemon before, but luckily his neanderthal strength was effective against them. He eventually got to the part of the ship where the Emperor was and saw that Sanguinius was dead and papa was dying. He carried him back to the throne and peaced out.
Where Is He At in 40k?
Shortly after everything settled down on Terra, Guilliman started sticking his nose in everyone’s business. Dorn didn’t like his brother’s ugly face telling him how to run his army. He took a fleet of soldiers and went across space killing Chaos wherever they could find them. Eventually, the rest of the Imperium started wondering where he was at until one day, they boarded an old Chaos ship and found his severed hand. Nobody knows where he’s at now, but if we know GW, that’s their way of saying he’s probably not dead.
His children took it, and because they’re also weird, they started inscribing the names of Chapter Masters into the bone of Dorn’s severed hand.
There is actually a lot of lore on this guy, but we’ve hit the major talking points. He also killed his brother Alpharius and really screwed up by trying to take Perturabo off of his fortress planet in an Iron Cage. But that’s all for a later time. Hopefully, you’ve learned something about the socially awkward Primarch that did his job, but not very well.
What do you think about Rogal Dorn? Would you like to see him come back to 40k with a new model?
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About the Author: Wesley Floyd
